bee my honey

You make me go awwwww

2012-01-07T21:13:00.001-08:00

You know how people says that kids don't lie kan? I'm having some weight issue now biasalah dah ade duit lebih makan nak mahal je. And I tend to munch a lot if I'm under pressure *reads: always*.

And I went on the weighing scale just now hoping for a miracle. But miracle my foot. The digits are still the same. Gahhhh. Then I said 'gemuknyaaa'. Then came this angel with her halo saying 'ciksu kurus la, ciksu tak gemuk'. Ciksu melted to the floor rightaway! Now excuse me while I ransack the fridge. Hehe

caffeine overkills

2011-12-12T11:15:00.000-08:00

So I'm having THIS problem again. Where my body is begging for some sleep but my eyes are like supercharged energizer bunny. I know that I have issues with caffeine. I don't drink coffee at all cause if I did I would get nauseous, jumpy and whatnots. Drama kan? My friend can drink the blackest coffee and still sleep like a baby at the end of the day.

This is what exactly happened few years back when I was sitting for my P2 paper. Drank teh ais for dinner just for the extra boost and by extra I didn't mean spending the night wide awake with my mind jumping around here and there, talking nonsense if it could talk. Flunked that paper, go figure!

I had teh ais during our minum session after 5.30. The normal routine for slaves of the big firm like us before returning BACK to work. But I didn't expect that I would still be wideee awake at 3 in the morning. Crap. And tomorrow we need to say a word or two to the camera since our big boss is leaving at the end of this month. Bubye glowing skin *not that I have it*. Hello designer panda eyes. Dear god, have mercy on me. Sigh.

P/s: here I am, cold sweating thinking bout work. On what specifically, I have no idea.

2011-11-13T07:19:00.001-08:00

I still believe in fairy tale. What about you? And they lived happily ever after, that's what they said. With the pressure that I have to go through now, all I need to know is at the end of the day everything, everything will be okay. Sigh. Now excuse me while I go and find my happy ending.

2011-10-15T06:28:00.000-07:00

I cried watching a Kardashian's show. Why would someone cry watching the Kardashian kan. Kim didn't get her father to walk her down the aisle and as for me, I'm not going to get my dad to be my wali *insert sad face here*.

ps: Her dress is ah-mazing.

From kota bharu to old klang road

2011-09-10T21:47:00.001-07:00

How was your raya? Mine was ok but i still can't accept the fact that i'm ineligible to receive duit raya anymore. Cries.

Being at home brings me closer to my late daddy. When i first entered their room, his smell still lingered as if he was still around. Felt like i needed a reality check. Broke down and cried on his side of the bed rightaway. His grave is like a knock in the head, waking me up to my senses. Nangis lagi since this is the first time i'm home since March.

And this raya jugak la i received tons of when's your turn? For marriage obviously. I'm a 21 years old hormone-driven-hopeless-romantic lady. Jangan tanya boleh? Kan dah buat i pressured nak cari a companion. Facepalm. But hold your rein as i know that now is not the time to look after a boyfriend dah. Ni masa mencari calon suami who can guide me to the right path, who accepts me the way i am. I want 'us' to be like Ayah and Mama. Cinta sampai akhir hayat. There were a fee occasions where people asked Mama dah ade pengganti or not. I can't understand why people could be so insensitive. Urgh. But her answer brought me to tears every single time. 'Takkan ada pengganti dia'. And by this point people would realised that they have been an insensitive cow.

The first two paragraphs was written when i was still in kb and im not rajin enough to edit it. That explains the title yeh. Oh people, my birthday is in 4 days now!

2011-08-03T05:30:00.001-07:00

It has been a year.pejam celik pejam celik.i used to say i dont know how to live my days after he's gone.tapi now dah a year dah pun.

I miss u daddy.it has been ages since i last cried cause of u.i mean the sobbing punye nangis.masa baca yassin tadi laju je air mata.how i wish u were still here with us.

Since i've been working,dh jarang baca yassin.balik rumah dah penat,kejar benda duniawi tengok fb and tumblr then terus tido.the cycle repeats tomorrow.mungkin hati dah jadi keras.rindu memang rindu.all the time.tapi the tears dont shed anymore.harini rasa dekat sangat to u ayoh.

I still remember when i complained how hard the paper was and u said u are proud of me no matter what.how i wish u could see me now and tell me the same thing.i really need that.

Al-fatihah.

Money money money

2011-06-22T06:47:00.001-07:00

Lets' talk bout money. Without money, u can die but too much of it can kill u.

Money 1
Being a career woman *super puke*, i now know how hard it is to get RM1. Yelah, everything have to bayar using my OWN money. Bayar tu bayar ni hulur situ hulur sini, end of month dah terkorek duit. Last month, i only had RM20 in my purse and i had to take a cab to a client's place. Tau saje lah taking a cab in KL macam mana. But before hailing the cab, i tawakal pergi atm check duit. I never felt richer. It wasn't even 28th yet tapi alhamdulillah gaji dah masuk. HE is always there for me.

Money 2
Did u know that an engineer in Medan only gets around 300 usd per month? That's like what, 1/3 of Malaysian engineer punya gaji? Count your blessing everyone. Yes,we can argue that the cost of living in Indonesia is cheaper yada yada yada but,their value is only worth of that? Duit ni if we keep on saying tak cukup la, memang tak akan cukup *i'm guilty of this jugak*. I pergi interview kakak cleaner, she said she get RM900 every month and sometimes she has to come at 7 and leave at 7 u know! Kalah auditor. Terus i insaf kejap cause i ni balik lambat pun duduk je hadap computer, got aircond somemore.

Money 3
Last night i went to pasar malam with my mom. She went to buy some ikan while i pergi beli air. Then when i met her she said the fishmonger tu claimed that my mom gave him duit palsu. I check la the money and memang it was fake pun. Macam normal kertas u print out as duit and buruk sangat sampai i pegang terus koyak in the middle. Come on la, takkan la mama nak bagi that money kan? Kita tau adat, ade sivik and i know that my mom's duit memang fresh from atm cause we baru withdraw. But the guy said my mom was the last customer and tu her duit. So mama just said ' makcik boleh ganti tapi tuhan tahu' qnd hand him another 50. I dengar tu pun i almost nangis, tak tengok live lagi. Why la have to be like that? Lapar duit sangat ke? I felt like shoving the fishes into their asses but mama said 'kita rugi 50, insyaAllah dapat 150'. Amin. And i just hope they will get sleepless nights. Asyik nampak muka my mom cakap tuhan tahu. Amin.

On a lighter note, how la nak jadi fashionable ni? I la paling sopan pergi office with baju kurung every day. I look hideous in suit * nangia ceruk dinding*

Ok la bye loves!

Testing testing

2011-06-04T03:34:00.001-07:00

2011-06-01T05:52:00.000-07:00

Can you not underestimate people for a second? Urgh why do you have to be so annoying?

Life so far.

2011-05-28T07:24:00.001-07:00

I am now a confirmed employee!weeho.and with that comes a greater responsibility for me to carry.but no complaints or whatsoever because this is what i wanted.i remembered telling one of my friend 'kalau tak dapat big 4 aku tak nak kerja'.Alhamdulillah i managed to my dream job without using any strings ke cable ke.yelah my parents are nobody pun.mana ada contact nak mintak tolong.i guess He thinks that last year was a bit tough for me and He granted my doa for a great job.But he has yet to grant my doa for the best jodoh.haha.
I attended my graduation last week.we were all dolled up perasan comel.alhamdulillah i've managed to complete my ACCA in 2 years.tho twas a merry event,i wished ayoh was there.it was an emotional rollercoaster for me.as much as i loved to see my friends,to get on the stage,to be pretty,deep inside im crying.how i wished ayoh was there.at one point i couldn't stand the longing for him,i cried.i miss him dearly.and the speech from the vice chancellor wasn't really helping when he talked about some of the unfortunate graduates yang their parents couldn't attend the ceremony and i felt like the 567743 pairs of eyes in the hall were looking at me tho they weren't.how i wish i could be stronger.
Oh crap.i was intending to write on my work and how cute the Khazanah's guy i met last week tapi termenangis again.not good not good.lets recite Al-Fatihah to my daddy and maybe your daddy,or mommy and to all of our beloved ones who are no longer with us.Al-fatihah.
This is my first time blogging via my smartphone. ceh perlu ke mention smartphone. Haha. I hadiahkan diri sendiri sebab nak mintak dengan my mom mestilah tak dapat. I'd have uploaded my graduation pic if i know how. Tapi i noob mestilah tak tahu tho dah 2 months guna this phone.
Okthanksbye.

It's not easy.

2011-04-10T07:35:00.000-07:00

My uncle passed away just now due to lungs problem. I wish I could be there in my hometown by my aunty's side. She's like a mother to me. And to my cousins, I hope they can handle this very well. I know how hard it is to send a parent to his final resting place. It seems like the air is being sucked out of you. Unreal. Sadness crushing you to the bone and deep inside you are screaming to get out of the nightmare- which sadly is the reality.

Up till now I still get the feeling to call home to talk with my father. Then I suddenly realised that he's no longer there. I miss him. Since I've started working, there were two occasions when I ran to the surau and sobbed just because I missed him. Every tiny prick could made me burst into tears. And all I know is the guys are afraid to make fun of me because there was this one time they were calling me 'mak cik', all 3 of them while laughing. And I was there all alone tak de geng nak back up I, straightaway said 'tak baik buli anak yatim' and made my way out of there (to surau to cry). It wasn't really about the name calling, but geez I don't know why I said that. When I got back to my workstation, I could see that they were freaking out and thank god they apologised. I know you might think that was so immature of me to act like that, making daddy's demise as an excuse but I wish I could be stronger to face the upcoming days. I guess underneath the brave cape that I'm wearing, there are pieces that are so fragile which a poke could shatter them.

I've noticed that most of the posts in this blog relates to Ayoh's demise. I've tried to write about something fun, something lively but writing them aren't as easy as writing on how I'm dealing with all this. So I guess this blog is going to be my mourning space for now. Lend me your ears, or in this case eyes and shoulders boleh?

ps: I went to work today. On Sunday. Can you believe it?

what about you?

2011-03-18T23:56:00.003-07:00

Greeting earthlings!

I've been working for 2 weeks already and boy I learned a lot. I think I'm the laughing stock of the office because of me just being me. I don't know what exactly on their mind but it seems like they are laughing at every single thing I do or say. In a good way. And I will be like 'WHAT??'. Maybe because i look like a schoolgirl with my adorable kurungs *puke* or maybe because I'm that hopeless.

There are only two Malay girl in my department, me and a senior. So basically i'm at the bottom of the food chain with people picking on me. I'm the go to people if they want a pair of extra hands to scan or copy anything. Yeah, I know how to operate the copier and scanner on my first day at work. Lame much? Lol. Dude, we are not talking about normal copier here. This is the big hi-tech one with lots of buttons. So I cool kan?

Can u imagine four guys, 3 of them are chain smokers sitting at a table talking guys' stuff with smoke puffing from their mouths or nose and in the middle there is a petite girl with baju kurung and tudung with her PINK water bottle. Well, that's how my lunches usually look like. Yeah I'm a cheapskate I carry my water bottle to lunch. Hahaha. It's not that I gatal sangat nak makan dengan laki ke apa. It's just that there aren't not that many Malay girls. So i have no choice. And it's not that I'm a racist tak kawan Cina, India or anything. U know how when it comes to food kan? So yeah everyday I ada escorts 4 orang for lunch.

So basically that's my life now. Waking up at 5.50 am to beat the traffic,reach home at 9. Tidur then the same cycle again the next day and the next. But these past 2 weeks have been a hell lot of fun because I'm doing something that I love. Cross fingers that this excitement will never fade.

so how's life people?

just like polariod. it fades.

2011-02-22T06:48:00.000-08:00

I am ashamed to even look at this blog due to the lack of posts. Beria cakap nak post every other day. Every other month pun dah lepas. Sigh.

I have like a week to spend my days makan tidur-ing as InsyaAllah I'll start working on 1st March. A. WEEK. FROM NOW. Can you imagine that? I bet after that my eye bags will sag to the chin and no more endless BigFish games, reading gossips, reading ghost stories and ended up feeling like 'someone' is watching me. No more lepak-ing with my mom, trying out lots of restaurants which explains the 'excess luggage' that I am now carrying. Lol. Going to Ayoh's grave every other day, fetching my nephew from the kindergarten. I wish I could stay at home forever and live the easy life where a rich, handsome prince will ask my hand in marriage and we will live happily ever after. Is it just me or every other straight girl in the world have that dream?

Oh yeah I've completed my ACCA. In only 2 awesome years. Hah kan dah bongkak. Alhamdulillah syukur tho last semester was like, I don't know, words can't even describe it. When I decided to take a month off last sem, my lecturers were a bit unsupportive. With me taking 3 papers, they said it was impossible for me to pass it all. Siap tanya dalam class depan orang ramai on my first day after my 'hiatus' sampai I nangis dalam class. Drama queen much? Haha. Well, techically bukan tanya pun. Biarlah, yang penting I proved them wrong. Alhamdulillah.

But, I wish I could share this news with my daddy. I hope he's smiling now, from there. From a place so lush promised by HIM. All my yassins and doas are for him. Okay, enough rantings for tonight or else I'll start sobbing. I'll leave you with something funny tho cause I'm cool like that. Pffft.

E.P.I.C

2011-01-18T06:09:00.000-08:00

Funny thing happened just now. I was in my mom's room *me and my 2 nieces been crashing it since daddy's demise*. Suddenly, one of my niece yang tengah tido bangun and took off her pants. I asked her why, dia jawab nak pee. BUT, bukannya die pergi toilet. Dia 'solat'. Solat tanpa seluar. Me and my mom laughed so hard sampai my mom kena cari her inhaler. She already prayed pun before tidur. Bagus kan anak buah I? *smug*

ps: It's a bit awkward to say my mom's room. im still used to say my parent's room.

Yeah I'm cool.

2011-01-11T03:07:00.000-08:00

I've always been trying to be the 'at least' person. You know, the type of person who still thinks that everything will be alright eventhough everything seems falling apart. At least we get to enjoy the view, at least I still have a home etc. But something happened today made me contemplates what my future holds. Seriously now I rasa maybe I will end up kerja kat Mydin je.

Tadi when I was sleeping, I received a call from a company and I think I screwed it big time. It wasn't a phone interview, more like getting to know me. Tapi ni pun I dah freaked out and cakap tah pape so I should say goodbye to the job.

I know I shouldn't be this kacau because I wasn't looking forward to work in that company pun but my cousin was the one who forwarded my resume to the HR department, so macam I put my family to shame lah. Family rivalry is tense in my extended family thanks to that special someone. Anak die lah palig hebat, anak orang lain tak hebat. I know that Mama loves me no matter what and tak kisah I'm still unemployed tapi I want to make her proud of me.

Pape je lah.The more I think about it, the more miserable I become. Lets activate the at least mode. At least I get to spend some more time at home, at least I still get to wake up at 11. So kalau you down you just switch on your at least mode ok?

a lil reminder

2011-01-06T20:46:00.000-08:00

This is for me and for you (especially me) who always forget bout HIM.

deeeeeeep breath.

2010-12-29T11:29:00.000-08:00

Ohemgeee this is soooo annoying. I've been trying to apply for a job in one of the Big 4 companies. No, I'm not going to reveal which one since it's going to jeopardize my already slim chances of being hired. Lol. Tapi seriously ape slow sangat ni. Been reloading the same page, retyping the same information on the same freaking page. Sigh. Is this a sign for me that I should stop thinking about joining the rat race and look for a filthy rich Dato' to wed me and I would give birth to beautiful kids and we would live happily ever after. The End. Snap me out of my dream because life is not that easy.

I have something to share with you guys. Stumbled upon this when I google-ed annoying images. Too bad that I couldn't apply it now because Mama will think that I'm going insane talking about the dinosaurs' existence to my laptop. So, here you go.

10 Ways to get rid of annoying people.

No matter how disinterested you appear or the excessive number of times you need to “take care of something immediately,” some people just don’t get the hint that they are super annoying. So just remember a few of these tips and I doubt they’ll ever want to speak to you again.

1. Defend Bernie Madoff. “Everyone deserves a second chance and I think Bernie has been through enough. Let’s start an office donation for his poor wife and kids.”

2. Argue that dinosaurs never existed. “Aliens put dinosaur bones on Earth years ago so that we would think they existed.”

3. Describe the nutritional content of everything you see them eat. If this doesn’t work, you can constantly talk about how they are negatively impacting the environment.

4. Stare at their forehead during the entire conversation.

5. Sketch them while they are talking to you. Be sure to exaggerate any noticeable imperfections before handing them the picture.

6. Pass gas while they are talking and say, “I refuse to apologize for my high fiber diet.”

7. Ask them for $100 every time they start talking to you.

8. Wear a superhero costume under your clothes. Say, “Can you keep a secret?” and then lift up your shirt.

9. Play the role of stenographer if you are near a keyboard. It is crucial that you DO NOT speak while using this technique. Just keep documenting their conversation until they walk away.

10. Explain why Michael Vick is innocent. “Those dogs were born to fight; it’s what they love. If anything, Michael Vick should be praised for letting those dogs express themselves naturally.”

Author: Guy Bellefonte

MyPetGroundhog

ps: today is going to be a GOOD day for you and for me. InsyaAllah

pps:doa la so I get a good job with a great pay. Sape doa I belanja. Amin.

kesian lah please.

2010-12-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

#1: Eh, u bukan guna bb ke? I thought u guna bb coz u look like a bb user.

#2: Kak Bie, nk bb pin!

Sobs. I took that as an compliment lah ok tho dalam hati sedih menjeruk rasa. I have a confession to make. Bie Hashim is currently using her niece's nokiaidon'tknowwhatmodel handphone. LOANED FROM HER 11 YEARS OLD NIECE. I feel so old already. Geez, I can't keep up with this tech craze. Excuse much? Ala, my big fat bank account doesn't allow me to spend on cool flash handphones lagi la. The plan was to borrow the phone till next year which is only a few days away sebab next year kan dah baibai import duties on phones. But then I tamak alang-alang nak beli phone beli lah yang best sikit kan, takkan nak beli nokia torchlight tho nokia torchlight pun agak hip now. So I pun tak tau lah sampai bila I'll be using this phone.

But cool lah bila orang text kan I'd have no idea who sent it since all my contacts kan dalam my old phone. Only those yang I saved in sim memory je dapat retrieved. Boleh lah reply balik 'who is this? sorry I'm using a new phone'. Cait. Yes, I'm that pathetic. Kesian, no?

beeeeeeppp

2010-12-19T07:15:00.000-08:00

Hello beautiful people.

I've been trying to update this blog a few times but nothing came out right. So I vowed to write something every other day during the holiday. Rigggght. It has started 5 days ago and I haven't written anything. What a procrastinator I am. Since I'm such a lazybum I'll write a snippet of everything. Macam trivia of what i went through the past few weeks. Aci?

1. I had a dream of ayoh again on the 6th, a few hours before the P6 examination. We went to have our favourite pulut pagi. We chatted a little, I kissed his hands and heeelllo reality! It.was.just.a.dream. Oh all the papers were do-able I think. Well, at least I think they were. I've got to admit that mimpi cium his hands before the big final exam did put me at ease.

2. Somewhere in the middle of the last post and this one, I went to Midvalley to celebrate my BIL's birthday. Did you know that RapidKL has launched it's own women's coaches? It was still in trail period tho. Mintak-mintak lah nanti jadi permanent just like KTM. You have no idea how hard it is for me to be in a packed coaches. Hidung paras ketiak orang. Sobs.

3. Midvalley was so effing full with people that day. Biaselah weekend, school holiday, Year End Sale and Christmas, what do you expect right. Tapi when I went there again on Wednesday the 15th pun still ramai orang. Mane diorang dapat duit? Why weren't they working? Jealous. Then I went to Stadium Bukit Jalil because Farhan wanted to buy the tickets for AFF Cup. The parking bays were full already and it was only around three kot that time. Gile ke ape sume orang ni tak keje mane dapat duit????????

4. That time yang I pergi Midvalley on weekend tu my sis and her family were staying at The boulevard Hotel. The room was on the 22nd floor. My niece, Sarah was so excited lari to the window to show me 'kereta terbang'. Whatte. Kereta terbang= cars on the flyover from aerial view *facepalm*. Cemerlang anok sdaro ciksu. Maybe for all these time kan die tak perasan flyover sebab time dalam kereta not that obvious.No?

5. Lepastu masa I nak balik there were this lady with her father naik the bus. Her father was a very old man. I mean the type yang you can tell that he's old bukan tua but macho. Macam fragile paperthin like that la. NOBODY OFFERED HIM A SEAT! I would give him my seat if I had one tapi that time ~~heroin~~ i was standing as well. Gile keji they all. All tegap kacak bergaya orang muda and they were seating on the priority seats. Then I told his daughter to ask them to give him a seat and a girl bangun offered her seat to him. Apekah? Baik tak payah jadi laki bai. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if u are reading this let's do a pledge shall we? Offer your seat to those who need it more than you boleh? Tak kira lah melayu, cina, india. Kita kan 1 Malaysia. Dah boleh bagi award warganegara insani kat budak ni *points to myself*. Warganegara insani wtfish. Came out with it sembereno-ly. Hahaha.

Hari-hari jumpa puteri,

Nanti update lagi!

Sekian, terima kasih y'all!

ps: i nak jadi fashionista! yeah you can say it out loud 'dream on!'

pps: hujan ni buat i nak makan tidur more. you?

another you.

2010-11-05T21:01:00.000-07:00

I woke up and I cried. Sobbing. Another dream of him. I'm quite blessed comapred to my other family members sebab I paling banyak mimpi Ayoh since his demise. Every week apart from last week maybe sebab I stress nak exam tho it was only trial. But I remember tossing and turning in bed on the night before P6. Ended up crying to sleep because I missed him so much. I MISS HIM SO MUCH. There never will a past tense to it sebab I memamg rindu Ayoh every single minute. The only difference is the intensity.

The dreams are more or less the same. About we used to do, what he loved. Sometimes he just came out of nowhere and hugged me. Macam I tengah mimpi about something else and POOF! ayah came and hugged me. Sometimes there would be a proper storyline to it. Like the one that we had a car ride together, chatting, having fun, makan aiskrim together. Tapi I taknak balik when he sent me to my house sebab I knew nanti I dah tak boleh jumpa dia dah. He hugged me and said comforting words to me. Tapi bile I sedar I couldn't remember what we talked about, those things he said to me.

Last night was about me,mama and daddy went to Mecca. There was some kind of plague and it was so chaotic, Daddy couldn't make it. We were separated sebab kecoh sangat kan. Tapi I sampai to this one centre where they manage all the bodies. I saw Ayoh. With the look on his face exactly like on the day he died. So serene. I kissed his cheek and went to get my mom. We talked about him. Reminiscing. I ingat I told my mom that he used to rub his shaved chin to my face. That was when I felt he was soooooo close to me. Kan kasar kalau baru lepas shave and I could feel it. Macam die baru buat. Sini. Atas my right eyebrow.

I never tell mama about my dreams because there was once when my sis told her that she had a dream of Ayoh, mama said 'herm ore lain mipi blako. Mama jah tok mipi'. I know she misses her darling so much. 38 years of being together is not something that you can put at the back of your mind easily. Macam kalau I mimpi, jarang je I sedih in the dreams sebab he was so close. So bila dah bangun, dah sedar I'd ended up crying sebab baru sedar he's no longer here and it was just a dream.

Oh one more thing. If a friend of u told u about his/her dream of his/her deceased parent/loved ones, jangan lah sial sangat pergi cakap mimpi tu mainan tidur or mimpi tu tak logik sebab tu la one of the channels nak luahkan rindu. Ok enough of my crapping. Happy Saturday everyone!

so how #2

2010-10-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

I've been pestering Farhan to take me to the newly opened Murni somewhere in USJ. Konon macam nak buat the in thing now la. I went to the old Murni once tapi laaaaame gila dulu and I forgot the taste of the foods already so I think the foods weren't mind blowing sedap la coz kalau tak sure perut I ingat sampai sekarang. I jenis very particular with everything. Nak pergi mana-mana, nak makan kat somewhere new mesti I buat research dulu. Very the statement kipas diri. Tapi usually ended up tak pergi pun. Hangat-hangat tahi ayam citpoodah.

So I googled la Murni USJ. Clicked one of the link, baca-baca bla bla bla then puked. Geli gila. Tak payah la pergi secool mana that place is. Rela I makan nasik telur mata dengan kicap kat rumah la. Look at the picture upstairs (Mimi, do I sound like a foreigner?lol) What's in the yolk? Looks like a roach to me? Ke ape? Tell me what u can see.

You are what you eat. Input kotor output pun sama lah. By output I didn't mean your poops. Lol. Jiwa hati nurani peribadi all that. My aunt EVERY SINGLE THING die buat sendiri. From jam sampai lah goreng pisang and every thing in between. Kakak I pernah kena marah coz she bought goreng pisang. My aunt said 'orang jual tu tah solat tah tidak. Gelap hati makan yang orang tak solat masak.'

So memang geeeeelap lah hati I coz almost everyday pun beli je breakfast, lunch, dinner. Oh lepas tu baru I ingat last week I went to Sushi Bonanza courtesy of my sister. Now dah ade notice saying that Unagis contained less than 0.05% alcohol. But since Unagi is my favourite I said 'Edible kot since very little. Tak memabukkan ni' to my sister *put Unagi in mouth. nom nom*. Finished the first plate, took the second plate tiba-tiba rasa tak yakin. Terus I put it back on the conveyer belt. Sampai sekarang I rasa bersalah to my sister and her daughter sebab she is still breastfeeding. Sarah, maafkan ciksu.

Tapi yang dah berkarton Unagi I makan before this tu apa? Tak kan la right now baru letak alcohol kan? Mesti dah trade secret resipi turun temurun. Patut la hati I gelap. Sigh. Ni belum masuk bab mamak lagi. TGIF, Chili's apa semua pun boleh join. Ni la harga yang perlu dikorbankan dengan arus pemodenan. Ayat konon hebat. Now, I dah macam malas to eat out. Tapi most of the times I have to since I'm very busy. Ceh. Ni belum nanti I jadi career woman. Dah la I makan sorang rasa macam tak worth it kung kang kung kang kat dapur masak sikit je makan alone gila kesian kau weh. So how?

ps: to my sister, rajin-rajinkan lah memasak. Lol.
pps: I'm on diet. Almost two days without rice. Lihat perutku...

so tell me.

2010-10-09T05:14:00.000-07:00

What do you really want in life? Ever gave it a thought? Had a conversation which made me realised how fortunate I am. Tapi manusia memang lah. Bad luck kecik gila memang nampak terus nak kupas dari segenap sudut terus question why porque kenapa. Tapi all the good things yang everyday pun datang dalam diri mesti went unnoticed.

Ade satu miniature lolipop yang gila boleh buat kau drolls dengan satu lolipop chupachup tujuh posen yang kecik tapi edible. Which one do you choose? Basically that's the summary of the conversation. Like all the good things in life aren't perfect. U have to give some to get some u know.

Biar lah kau ade lollipop yang gila besar tapi macam tak de guna. I'd rather stick to my chupachup. Like what's the point of having an unedible lolipop kan? Alhamdulillah I had the chance to get to know the most awesome dad who really loved me, who cared about me tenderly, who never raised his voice let alone to hurt me. Though he's now I gone I know that he loved me. He loved us. Saya takde ayah now but I know it's waaaaay better than having a dad yang every single day nampak depan mata tapi tak dapat rasa his love. Yang tak pernah wish birthday, yang tak pernah concern of my whereabouts tapi has millions in the bank. Kebahagiaan tu subjektif. Which one is your desire?

Oh I'm currently at home. It was a bit weird when only my mom fetched me. They used to fetch me. But somehow it feels like he's still here. Macam dia pergi surau tak balik lagi kind of feelings. Like I'm still waiting for him. Kalau i tell to others bout this they'll go like 'he's gone. sabar la'. I know that he's gone tapi macam tah la. But my bestfriend, Ayu who had to went thru all this when she was 11 years old said she still have that kind of waiting feeling after these years. So I think only people who went thru all this understands. Kot.

ps:doakan ape yang i buat sekarang adalah yang terbaik. thanks

Mbdsjngrhk

2010-10-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Kalau orang tak cakap takziah kau nak emo cakap orang x considerate ignore kau punye suffering.tapi kalau orang cakap takziah pun kau nak emo cakap orang tak paham perasaan kau nak happy sekejap terus turned off.sigh.so how?

SELAMAT HARI RAYA

2010-09-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

*taken from my sis's fb. kid these days.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA EVERYONE!
Mohon maaf zahir batin

I know you are in a better place now. Al-fatihah.

2010-09-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

It has been a month since he left. But it feels like yesterday. Till now I think I couldn't really accept the fact that he's gone. Tah la. How to describe eh? I feel like he's now in KL or some other places and he's coming back esok or lusa. Bukan tak redha. But maybe it was too heartwrenching so my mind preferred to think that way. Tak nak bagi sedih sangat kot. S'ok, nanti kami akan bertemu di Jannah insyaAllah.

Oh maybe some of u have no idea what I'm talking about. My ayoh, Hj Mohd Hashim @ Ariffin b. Ismail passed away on 4th August 2010 at 2.05 pm. On the same day that we were supposed to leave for Mecca. Dari DIA kita datang kepada DIA kita kembali.

Terkilan tak dapat kucup tangan pohon ampun tika jasad masih bernyawa, tak setia di sisi tika sakaratulmaut datang menjelma. Maybe HE knew that I wouldn't have been able to face it all. Masih ingat persis panggilan itu. No tears were shed. Numb. Pohon itu hanya mimpi. Tapi bila dah queue for flight tickets baru realization hit me. No more that deep throathy WELCOME HOME greeting from him every single time I went back home.

We reached home around Asar prayer. I knew that I have to be strong for my mom because my sister was crying all the way back to KB. The house seemed so foreign. Penuh relatives and friends but I didn't know what to do. Should I go and salam with every single one of them? Should I go and weep beside Ayoh's lifeless body? All those familiar faces seemed like strangers. I will remember the look on Mama's face on that day till the day I die. I went to salam with my aunty and cousins. And they were like 'bie duk tunggu nak g Mekoh la ni tadi?'. That was it. I couldn't handle that. Straight away into the room and prayed. Sucikan diri before jumpa Ayoh.

And there were Mama and sis beside him. Crying. I heard Mama whispered to Ayoh 'Ayoh promise dengan Mama Ayoh tunggu Mama deh'. That was so heartbreaking. But I looked at him, I felt so much stronger. He was so good looking. Terbaik yang pernah saya lihat in the past 21 years. Suci, bersih, calm and serene. He kept me going that day. Pergi dalam keadaan itu is something totally to boast about. Every single person who came said that Ayoh looked so peaceful. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Like the saying goes 'it's not how you start, it's how you finish'.

Honestly, I'm happy that he died like that. Syukur. Undoubtedly that HIS plannings were the best. HE never fails to make me feel like I'm the luckiest girl even in this situation. Ayoh left us when he was in KB. Just imagine what if Ayoh passed away while we were waiting for our flights in KLIA? Or when we were sightseeing in Egypt? Atau mungkin di Tanah Haram. Pusara Ayoh obviously wouldn't be at where it is now, 3 minutes from home.

He was bathe after Maghrib in his favourite place-his room. Mama stood by the door teary eyed and I went to hug her, she just said 'This is all too soon'. My niece, Sarah kept on saying 'nak Tok Ayah'. I just didn't know what to tell her. A 2 years old obviously couldn't understand mati tu ape kan. Solat jenazah pun penuh rumah. Alhamdulillah. I went to the cemetery as well, the only woman there. Mama was too sad and sis was too occupied with Sarah.Dari awal lagi dah berazam to be with him through it all. To send him to his final resting place. Ayoh diusung ke sana. What a sight it was. I'm sure he would be smiling if he could see that. It was drizzling. My brother and I mistakenly came from the other side of the cemetery. So to get over to my dad's we had to walk across the HUGE cemetery with 2 kids in tow. It was pitch black dengan becak dengan semalus all over. I just didn't care. I just wanted to be with him. Selipar putus pun belasah je.

Whenever orang datang ziarah said 'sabar deh', that was like a cue for me to cry. Sneaking into my parents' room to cry was a normality. Crying while lying on his side of the bed rase macam he's hugging me. So close. Lagi perit bila orang kata 'oooo ni la anak bongsu hok nok gi Mekah sekali tu'. I remember one night mase tahlil Mama was at the table and she suddenly said 'eh Ayoh'. Obviously it wasn't him. It was my uncle. Ayoh's brother. I couldn't even look at him. Sedih, sayu.

One month after that day and we are still coping. I took a month off. I just don't have the heart to leave Mama. Being at home makes me feel so much closer to Ayoh. Some people just couldn't understand why. Some even suruh I marah my mom if she still crying after a week of his passing. Kau kejam ke nak marah Mak kau nangis teringat bapak kau? 38 years of being together kau nak mak kau buat tak rasa apa, unaffected? You tell me. Bukan meratapi tapi sometimes rindu tu datang. I try to avoid crying in front of Mama. Nak nangis lari masuk toilet or anywhere else except near her.

I know that Ayoh is in a better place now. He was the greatest dad. Too bad that I didn't told him that enough when he was still alive :(

Ya Allah, ampunkanlah dosa ayahku, permudahkanlah urusannya, tempatkanlah dia bersama golongan yang beriman, tempatkanlah dia dalam syurgaMu, sejahterakanlah dia di sana, lapangkanlah kuburnya, terangilah pusaranya. Sampaikan salam rindu kami padanya Ya Allah. Al-fatihah.

ps:doakan kami kuat juga ok?
pps:raya is not going to be the same without him.

PLEASE READ THIS!

2010-08-03T03:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the day that I've been waiting since I was 8 years old. Alhamdulillah esok I will be leaving for Mecca to perform my umrah for the second time. Syukur ayoh tak pakai Lambo pun still ade rezeki. It has been years since I last went there. Way before puberty and back when I thought kereta automatic tu memang automatic. Macam auto pilot. *slap forehead*

I still remember the first time I saw Baitullah, I cried. Speechless. Afraid. Rasa diri kerdil sangat. And that was waayy back when I didn't even know MTV. Sekarang dosa Ya Rabbi menggunung. I wonder how would I feel.

I couldn't wait to be home. I couldn't understand why Mama was crying when we were about to leave Al-Haram. Bila orang tanya 'bakpo bie lorat nak balik?'. the answer was 'nak balik main basikal.' That was the little me.

Bila dah selamat sampai Malaysia, there were many dreams of Baitullah. I still remember one night I had a dream of Kaabah. Terus bangun excited nak oyak ko Mama. And there was my mom in her mom, just woken up from the same dream. *teary eyes*

Dulu before pergi tak faham kenapa orang yang dah pergi nak rindu Mekah. Those of u yang dah pergi you can feel me right? Dah few times ajak my parents to go there again. Tapi mungkin rezeki tak sampai. 12 years apart from the last visit. Nevertheless, SYUKUR SYUKUR ALHAMDULILLAH.

This trip will be completely different from the last one. I am now a woman. Not the girl who used to ask her mom to lock her in the hotel room kalau malas pergi Subuh. This might be the last trip there for me as a single woman, as anak yang still under tanggungan.I will take this opportunity nak beribadah sebaik mungkin, InsyaAllah. I hope I will change for the better. For me, my parents, and for Him. InsyaAllah this will be a turning point for me. Doakan please.

The timing was perfect. 5th August until 23rd August. We are going to land in Malaysia right on the day that my result will be out. Yay boleh doa banyak banyak kat sana!. And it's Ramadhan. It was my life long dream to fast in Mecca. My mom's too. Alhamdulillah atas nikmat berganda.

EXCEPT THAT!

I've just received a call from mama saying that ayoh might not be able to come with us. Heartbroken. I cried. I did question 'why now? why not last month? why him?'. But then I realized ni semua adalah dugaan. Kenapa time dapat pergi umrah hari tu I didn't question anything kan? Kenapa time dapat musibah baru nak why oh why.

Ayah is not feeling pretty well. Letih. Last week tapak kaki lebam. Been to 3 doctors but no one can figure out what is wrong. Everything is normal. He received an injection untuk kaki lebam tu. The morning after he got the injection he called me and my sister telling us that he's ok now. Segar. That's why the call from my mom just now was a big blow to me. To us.

I cannot do anything now. I've stopped crying. Those tears can't change anything kan? Yes tomorrow was the day that I've been waiting since forever. But now I wish tomorrow is light years away so that Ayoh can get better in time to come with us. It has been my lifelong dream to be in Al-Haram with both of my parents. On the last visit I went there with my mom and my brother.

PLEASE MAKE DOA FOR MY DAD! Please. With all my heart I'm begging you. Doakan kami selamat pergi dan balik, perjalanan diberkati dan dapat peluang terbaik untuk beribadah.

ps:crying does make me feel better. what say you?
pps: will be leaving 0100 5th August.

mummy bumpy

2010-07-23T09:21:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that every single semester mesti I dapat kawan baru yang pregnant which is kinda cool since I'm a sucker for those baby bumps. I think pregnant women are sexxxay! Betul la. Their faces are glowing, their bodies are 'fuller' blablabla. I SALUTE they all. I can't imagine carrying those extra 20kgs of bendalir amnion whatsoever. Let alone to climb hundreds of stairs to got to class. Tengok muka pun taw diorg penat.

I think Uitm should provides parking bays for them preggie ladies. Tapi tak tak, tak boleh pakai sebab nanti semua nak pregnant sebab tak nak parking dekat padang kawad. Kesian lah they all. And Ramadhan is approaching lagi. My classmate baru pregnant 2.5 months. Comel woh. But pity her la since kelas mostly pagi. And do u know what morning means kalau pregnant? UWEEEEK! Yes, morning sickness. Kesian few times kena lari keluar pergi toilet sebab nak vomit.

Tapi I selalu curi tengok tummy die. Rase macam nak letak kepala and cakap cakap dengan baby. Pervert much? Hahaha. I have a fetish I guess. Kakak tu pulak selalu pegang gosok-gosok tummy dia. Geram je nak mintak gosok. *drools*

One more thing I geram pasal pregnant women is the oh so gorgeous baju pregnant. Dulu kalau pregnant mesti nak pakai macam maxi like that. But now, every designs pun wearable by them. Baru lah yummy mummy. But please lah tak suka kalau orang pregnant pakai baju siiiinnngkat and seluar keeetat! Buruk oi.

Oh stop blabbing about pregnant women. Nanti future employer condemn *coughs*. Perasan future employer padahal orang baru e-mail mintak hantar certificates. Last two weeks I went to ACCA Career Fair. Submitted my resumes to a few companies and Alhamdulillah one of them has responded. Not congratulations-you're-employed kind of response but I'm happy nonetheless since I'm still studying. Not bad I think.

So anyone can teach me how to make a cover letter?

2010-07-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

I think right now I am going through a phase where reading other people blogs is more exciting than updating mine. I just don't know why. Maybe I don't have much to share. Nah, I don't think so because I've always have that 'oh i should blog about this'. So, I think the main reason is because I'm to lazy. It's easier for me to just scroll down while enjoying my cup of Milo instead of typing and making sure everything make sense.

Oh I'm running on deficit now. Seriously. Meraba-raba cari duit *hint hint*. Lol. And every single time I'm short of cash mestilah lah ade baju cantik, wedges cantik, handbag gorgeous. Sigh. Kuatkanlah IMAN.I've just started my new semester, my last semester InsyaAllah. So banyaklah nak kena bayar, nak kena beli. Sedih mak, nyah.

dreams do speak

2010-06-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

Orang kata mimpi tu mainan syaitan. I think so too. Tapi kalau saya mimpi kahwin anak raja saya terus dalam denial kata it's a prophecy. Saya selalu mimpi. Tidur 5 minutes dalam kelas pun boleh mimpi. Tapi kalau tidur kejap je saya mimpi kena langgar lori atau jatuh longkang atau apa-apa yang boleh buat saya tersentak bangun. Memalukan sangat. Loser memang begitu.

I had a dream. It was the day of my wedding. My ARRANGED WEDDING. Take note of that. Saya tengok bakal husband saya through CCTV je masa meminang and the akad was held right after the meminang session. Saya tak ready, saya sedih memikirkan jodoh saya mungkin orang lain dan bukan yang dipaksa ini. Saya tarik muka. Silent treatment. Saya jual mahal. Our marriage seemed to be in disrepair. Husband saya baik walaupun taklah sekacak Ashraf Sinclair. Tapi kebaikan dia tu bukannya boleh saya bawak pergi function tunjuk-tunjuk menunjuk kat colleagues saya. Apelah sangat baik dia tu saya fikir. Saya pandang dia sebelah mata. Sampailah Fizz Fairuz datang nasihatkan saya to accept husband saya as he is. Saya kata 'I'll try'. Tanpa niat untuk mencuba pada dasarnya.

Sampailah satu petang, husband saya memasuki OUR ROOM dengan bertowel dan masih sweating sebab baru balik gym. Dengan badan sasa rawr dan six packs tu terus, saya cair. 'Abang nak air? Abang mesti penat kan?'. Terus tamat sudah segala silent treatment. Nasib baik mimpi ended there. Kalau tak saya pun geli nak type. ROTFL.

Mimpi ini memang bodoh pada zahirnya. Apekah tiba-tiba Fizz Fairuz jadi advisor saya. Memang tak logic lah. Tapi bile pikir-pikir balik it's a reminder actually. Maybe supaya saya tak memandang rupa dalam soal jodoh or whatsoever. I'm afraid that I'm going to be blinded by the good looks, wealth and physical attributes. Mintak dijauhkan. Ya Allah,janganlah butakan aku dengan segala rupa dan kekayaan pinjaman itu. Amin.

Quoted from Ayu bestfriend saya:

'Kalau pilih handsome je tapi perangai macam setan, kalau kena langgar lori apa yang tinggal?'

'Muka setan dan perangai setan lah.'

ps:oh yeah baby, I still can write a long post. blergh.

pps:dah penat edit. tapi die xnk turun jgk. sukehati kau lah.

POOP!

2010-06-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

The exam is finally OVER! Now, I'm currently at home with nothing to do

and the constant am-I-going-to-ace-it-or-not-oh-what-have-I-wrote thoughts. All the papers were so hard. Especially P2 (Corporate Reporting). Sigh. My lecturer said 'dont worry. that kind of question would not come out in the final'. Guess what? THAT kind of question CAME out. Poor me. I feel like I've wasted the whole semester for P2. I thought I was ready. Boy I was wrong.

This break I should start preparing my CV, resume and all that. But nah, those things can wait. I shall wait for the results first. I'm devastated actually =( All the extra hours poured in seemed to be pointless. All the plans and hopes are like ballons. And I'm slowly losing grip of those. Oh stop me from talking anout exams please. Let's just hope miracles do happen and please don't stop praying for me and my friends ok.

I love being at home. And I couldn't agree more with the quote above. HAHAHA. Don't you guys think that's so true. Well it is for me. Hah pengotor kau bie.

ps:I need to get rid of my extra kilos.
pps:But home=foods foods foods *dilemma*

yearned solitude

2010-06-06T11:57:00.000-07:00

'NEVER, NEVER LISTEN TO ANYBODY THAT TRIES TO DISCOURAGE YOU'

Yeah. Nice advice u've got there. I can handle that anybody. But the person who discourages me the most is MYSELF. Freaking out much? I think so. Let's just hope I can channel this discouragement into motivation in a week time. Ekk!

ps:KAK MIMI,all the best for your exam!

note to self

2010-05-12T01:50:00.000-07:00

Remember when someone told u that u were very strong and your strength made him stronger? I want u to be that strong. Please. I need it now more than ever. And dear heart, I'm sorry for the pains caused.

So lets put on the happy face shall we? Be brave. Be very very brave.

our doas are with u.

2010-05-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

when u called to tell us that u are at the clinic with the IV poked into u

we laughed at u

what a baby!

and now when u are lying on the bed motionless

hanging on to the machines to keep u breathing

we are crying while u are fighting for your life

guess who are the real babies now?

My friend, Shafiq Zainuddin has just been admitted because of lung infection. A possible case of H1N1 as well. He's in coma now. Please make doa for him.

I WONDER.

2010-04-24T05:18:00.000-07:00

I intended to join a piano lesson but the plan got canceled when I asked my mom for her permission. Her reply was 'baiklah masuk kelas tadarus dari kelas piano tu'. Ouch. But it got me thinking. It dawned on me that I'm not well equipped in that department.

I surely know how to recite the Quran. I know alif di atas a ba di atas ba. But I don't really know how to recite It in the right way. You know with all the izhar, ikhfak, idgham, dengung. I do get some parts of it right but what about the other parts? Arabic is one tough language. Just a tiny difference in the way you pronounce the words may result in a different meaning. I knew it. Yet I still took the easy way to just close one eye and recite it the way I think it should sounds like. Come to think of it, there must be gazillion times I recited it wrongly.

My cousins are hafiz and hafizah. They are my closest cousins from my father's side. Yes, we always crack jokes, share the laughters but I have to admit I'm ashamed of myself. I feel so small. Hina. When the day comes, I can't do anything to help my family. I don't have the extra tickets like them. Heck I can't even guarantee a seat for myself to heaven let alone the extra tickets. I ENVY THEM!

All rounder. The trait that we all boast about. But does an all rounder really is an all rounder? I mean does the term all rounder includes the religion bits? I wonder.

ps:i think nasik berlauk is the best breakfast.

tonight's gonna be a good night.

2010-04-09T08:19:00.006-07:00

A lame story it was.
Yet managed to put a smile on my face.

Since I have neither a car nor a bicycle, I had no other choice than to wait for the bus in the rain.Sigh.It's pretty taxing sometimes to brave the sardine packed bus but thinking that InsyaAllah in a year i will be able to buy a car with my own hard earned money, things are bearable.

Waiting is not my forte.Let alone waiting for a bus that took forever to arrive in the rain.But when I boarded the bus,the driver greeted me 'sayang,nak pergi mana?'.Oh no the driver was not a bearded stout guy,a makcik.A makcik drove that bus.Cool kan?I melted right away.Bonus point, the available seats were aplenty.

And when I got off,she waved at me.Heck after that I didn't even mind that I have to cross the road, walk a few blocks ahead and climb five sets of stairs IN THE RAIN.Just because I know the world is not a cruel place to be after all.

Thanks makcik.U made my day.

ps:and here i am writing on my comfy bed.Alhamdulillah.
pps:next time when u are all gloomy,focus on the simple things that u might take for granted.
ppps:oh you,tell me that i'm precious.because you are a gem to me.

2010-04-04T07:05:00.000-07:00

my blog doesn't automatically show the comments i received.i have to approve it first.yes pat on the back for that.

BUT
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i was so stupid because i clicked without looking.so instead of publishing i rejected them.gile cool kau weh.

as much as i hate to say this..

2010-04-03T22:43:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was, but what happened is in the past and all I can do is try to change and if you can't accept that, then you weren't who I thought you were.

not so kinder bueno childhood.

2010-03-21T00:49:00.001-07:00

I think most u guys know about the HALIMAH JONGANG hype now.Even if you don't watch it,I bet u must have heard the catchy song.It's not even a song.Just a repetition of halimah jongang with a bit of rhythm thrown in.However thanks to the plain,straight forward nature of the song,even a 5 years old can sing it.Too bad bebeh.

Because now if you look through the entertainment pages,you sure will come across one or two complaints on that series.Sebab ape?Sebab the song,the song and the song.Mostly the complaints come from upset parents whose child has a minor blot in the dental department.Can u imagine going to school everyday with people singing u that song.MOCKING YOU WITH THAT SONG.It's bad enough already when they called you bad names.Ni tambah lagi lagu pulak.Jongang itself is rude.I guarantee you it took a lot of courage to face this kind of teasing.And for a 8 years old girl to face this?Sigh.Unbearable.

Growing up,I was short and fat.Still am but most of the baby fats are gone.I still remember people calling me 'gajah' and sometimes 'badak'.Not to mention the chart topper 'gemuk'.And whenever I came home long faced my mom would tell me how beautiful I am cute intan payung to make me feel better and how they are going to be punished by Allah.All smile after that, but a few days after that the drama would recur again.It was a normality then.Not a very happy childhood huh?

I remember one Raya when I was still in primary school bila budak-budak kampung datang beraya.I served them.One of the boys said 'oloh gemuknyo die ni' straight to my face.I was the host for Pete's sake.I ran into the kitchen and cried.Oh drama queen as she is.After some consoling from my mother I managed to put on a straight face(albeit the runny nose and puffy eyes).And guess what I did?When it was time to bagi duit raya I went to him and said 'tak baik ngoto hok Allah buat'.Nope.No duit raya for him*smug*.

Moral of the story,name calling is a big NO NO.Tegur adik-adik,anak-anak,anak jiran rumah sebelah,depan,belakang cakap tak baik mengata.I've been through that and it wasn't nice.Jangan lah budak-budak tu have my kind of childhood.Nanti the world will be jam-packed with people like me.Haha.Seriously,I think it's one of the reason why I'm so dominant because I grew up in the ruthless environment.Pffft.

ps;no,i'm not going to post my gambar time kecik.hahaha
pps:when u are with someone a bit kayu,suprise is indeed very suprising.

the melted padlepop rainbow

2010-03-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

I went to Satay Kajang to have satay last night.Obviously la pergi satay kajang nak makan satay bukan nak makan lontong.And a family came.Semua comel-comel bulat kiut metot.From the dad sampai lah the youngest child memang muka copy paste.

BUT

The guy who works there didn't let them in.Why?Because it was almost 10 pm already and they were closing.And the dad kind of persuaded the guy to let them in because the kids craved for satay but the 'gila kuasa budget macam boss' waiter didn't budge an inch.I swear I saw the expressions on the kids' faces just poofed away.Serious kesian.When they turned to head back to their car,the granny patted the boy.Macam pujuk lah.'Tak pe lah,kita makan tempat lain ok' might be her comforting words.

Bayanglah kalau family tu tak senang,anak-anak nak makan satay tapi tak cukup duit.Bapak promised 'nanti cuti sekolah ayah bawak korang makan sane'.Budak-budak counted the days to cuti sekolah.Tak sabar nak makan.Tapi jadi macam tu.If I were them sure tidur mimpi satay.But u know how drama queen I am.Pffft.

Memang lah the closing time is 10pm.But it wasn't even 10p.m.Ni lah melayu.Operation hours 9am till 10pm.Time bukak kedai pukul 9 baru start tarik pintu,sapu meja.Time closing 9.35pm dah start kemas-kemas.Apekah?Kesian budak-budak tu.

ps:having the 'malasnye' moments
pps:thank u farhan for sacrificing ur gaji for me.mak terharu nyah.

weekend wonder

2010-03-11T19:44:00.000-08:00

pssst!im going to watch the disney on ice this sunday with sarah and adam.oh can't wait.will update later.im at the computer lab.my broadband connection has been giving me the cold shoulder.still.so thats explains why im not updating much tho every single day i have the 'eh ni boleh share dalam blog' moments.ergh.

-xoxo-

this is what I THINK

2010-02-25T06:58:00.000-08:00

I think it's odd when u posted a picture of u kissing your boyfriend and right below it you said something about your hope of being together with him forever, followed by AMIN. I don't mind if u want to post a naked picture of u or what nots. It's your choice. But don't u think putting Amin and a kissing picture in a same page is inappropriate? I don't know bout others, but for me it is somehow mocking The Almighty. What say you?

i'm blessed indeed.

2010-02-22T15:23:00.000-08:00

Hello beautiful people!

I got my result yesterday. Syukur Alhamdulillah I've pulled through it all. Oh in case you are wondering why I'm only updating on it today instead of yesterday-I just came back from the seventh heaven. Which I'm sure no one was wondering tho. Please bear with my show off mode today darlings.

The marks? Whoa. Way better than I expected it to be. Yes, you read it right. Somehow there was something in me telling me that I'd pass the papers but my body was kind enough to spark the occasional jitters-to keep me grounded I guess. But what I saw yesterday in my e-mail was beyond my expectations. For ACCA students, all that matter is whether u've passed or failed but they do provide you with your marks in the results. We don't have that CGPA with the fancy calculations like normal courses do since we are professional populace and we are not bothered about that*smugs*. Or maybe because our only lifelines are the final exam marks. We don't have to crack our head for assessments, assignments and whatnots. Easy breezy up til the final. Allah gave me the perfect path afterall. Alhamdulillah.

I literally burned the midnight oil last semester. I worked my ass off should I say. My friends were like 'eh Bie aku tak kenal kau sem ni','eh nape rajin sangat sekarang'. Very motivational la they all. Lol. And I had the worst fever ONE DAY BEFORE the BIGGG exam. How cool is that? I sniffed, sneezed, coughed my way through it. Not to mention the headaches. There were my companions when I was in the battle. To add cherry on top of the cake, the questions were so tough. I even left some of it unanswered. I guess HE was with me. My parents' doas were with me. Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah.

I lowered my forehead to the ground. Thanking him for the blessings, for all the enchantments around me which at times I've failed to notice. YOU ARE ONE OF THE ENCHANTMENTS as well. I hope my head don't grow along with my knowledge. Note to head:Hey,you stay put.Let the brain soaks all the knowledge.You head,just keep your toes on the ground ok?'

ps:please remind me when ever I'm feeling low that HE is with me.
pps:why the heck am i crying?
pps:it feels ggggoood to be home.

2010-02-17T04:40:00.000-08:00

I couldn't breathe. Sad tears streamed down my face. I cried in my prayer. Albeit the tears I tried to recite the Quran. The beautiful kalamullahs were no match to my sobs. Ungrateful soul I am. Only looking for Him when I'm in the deepest pit. Ya Allah if this gentle shove is a sign from You to make me a better person I am forever thankful for it.

2010-02-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

It was Beautiful. Distant but serene. I wish I didn't have to wake up. I wish I could stay in it forever. I wish it was real. But I know that there is no chance for me to live the dream because I've sinned.

God,is this a guidance from you?

pendek hidung kembang.

2010-02-14T04:44:00.000-08:00

Weh aku rendah tak leh pakai seluar ni. Nanti nampak peha macam tong drum.

Aku rendah lah wei. Mane boleh pakai kebaya labuh. Nanti nampak rendang gila.

Aku tak cukup tinggi! Mane la nak beli dress. Semua nak kene alter. Benci aku.

But after reading this, I am so freaking glad that I'm a late bloomer. Yes I'm calling myself a late bloomer instead of pendek dengan harapan my hormones will realize that they are not productive enough terus buat mass production lalu I dapat tinggi. Ceh bleak gila angan-angan. Oh don't bother if you can't move your fat finger to click the link. Meh i rajin copy paste.

A mother-to-be cheated death when a giant steel girder smashed into her car - because she is so tiny.

Petite Kelli Chapman, just 4ft 11ins, was waiting at traffic lights when the 30ft steel girder fell from a passing lorry.

It ripped open her red Volkswagen Golf GTi "like a tin can" - but Kelli, 26, walked away unscathed as the girder shot through the windscreen over her head.

Crash experts said if she had been just three inches taller she would have been killed instantly by the the one and a half tonnes of steel.

Kelli, who is three months pregnant, even managed to keep a cool head and call her father PC Rob Chapman from inside the crushed vehicle to ask for help.

PC Chapman said: 'Kelli called me and said "Dad, some metal has fallen on my car"

'But when I arrived at the scene I was just stunned.

'I could not believe what I was seeing. It was carnage. If she was not such a petite girl she would be dead.

Ha,if u guys were in the car I'm pretty sure you would end up jadi pancake with blood oozing from your head macam maple syrup.Slurp oh yummy.The pancake.Not the flat head.Tak pon dah macam ting tong sebab kena kutuk dengan besi.Hanya orang pendek macam I boleh survive.Boleh print ni cerita ni tunjuk dekat orang kutuk I pendek.

If you are A BIT short,I LOVE YOU!I do.*muahs*

ps:eva longoria pon pendek ape.kawan i lah tu.
pps:oh shah alam i hate you!

LOL.

2010-02-06T18:52:00.000-08:00

I'm very particular about my English.Spelling mistakes,grammar flaws are eyesores.Honestly,I enjoy reading other people's blog just to spot their mistakes.Yes,I'm evil.But somehow this is my way of learning.What annoys me the most are the obesis students.Oh i sound like ienvyyoui'mstuckinmalaysia girl.Hahaha.Say what you want.They are now in an English speaking country but somehow their English are...HOPELESS.

I couldn't tolerate it any longer when I saw my friend's facebook status.Noticed that he needs VOCATION and not vacation.I assumed he misspelled the words so I thought he would realise his mistake.But he cockily replied me with the definition of vacation.Please.Do I look like I don't know what vacation means? But you said vocation dammit!

So i replied with my short lecture of vacation is not vocation bla3.And his answer was*drum roll please*WELL SAYA ORANG MELAYU.wtf.Why are you making Melayu as an excuse not to learn other language?Pathetic.This is one of the reasons why Melayu is always being labeled as pemalas.This guy now is in United Kingdom.The homeland of English.How ironic is that.

ps:ye mmg sy jeles pon.
pps:makan makan makan.ergh

Make my day.

2010-02-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling dejected all day long.Scratch that.The feeling has been with me since yesterday.It maybe because of the hormones.Ergh.I HATE this feeling.But somehow one thing leads to another and here I am feeling worthless and insignificant.Hello people,can't u see me?Or u just don't bother?I think if I'm being kidnapped,no one will notice that I'm gone.

ps:i can't stop u from hating me.
pps:hv to re-read 'the secret'.pronto

ah tak kira,nak merajuk jugak.

2010-01-31T07:52:00.001-08:00

Sedih part 1:I planned to terminate my CELCOM BROADBAND due to its snail-like performance. So I made a brave move not to pay my bill. How long did I manage without my Internet? Two days people. Pffft. Last-last nangis mintak orang bawak pergi bayar bill. Harapan lah nak jadi Robinson Crusoe.So yes I'm back.Thankfully the connection is a bit better. I repeat A BIT.Bukan kan a lot.Maybe sebab I bayar extra.My due payment was rm60-ish but I paid rm100. Hah baru nak laju sikit.Kalau aku bayar cukup-cukup tak laju lah? Gila pilih kasih kau CELCOM. Taw lah aku miskin tak de duit harap duit scholar.Kau siat hati aku CELCOM.Oh drama.

Sedih part 2:I've been eyeing one brown wedges from clarks since Raya. Kumpul-kumpul duit baru sekarang cukup duit nak beli.Kalau mintak duit dengan mama nak beli Clarks sure the answer is 'ala Mama pakai kasut BATA je'. Ha terus rasa bersalah tak jadi beli.So baik tak mintak terus kumpul duit sendiri.Turned out that the salesman is Farhan's friend and he gave us his staff discount.30% beb.Almost rm100 could be saved.Dah boleh beli kasut Bata for Mama dah.But,

But

But

The smallest size that they have is 4!

BUT I'M A SIZE 3!!!!!

So the guy called his friends at clarks the curve and plaza masalam.And BOTH of the stores do not have size 3!Sedih wei.Hampa.Macam budak dapat belon lepas tu terlepas. Camtu ah rase die.
Tapi ni lagi sedih la sebab budak tu menabung sikit-sikit nak beli belon tu.It is not a big deal that I can't find my size.But,30% discount?Ok dah merajuk tak nak beli kasut setahun.

Ni mesti Santa tak baca surat ni.

ps:nak aiskrim milo!

pps:farhan,could u ask your friend to ask his friend at clarks sunway pyramid?Please.i gave u a hint just now.

ppps:night night everyone!muaaahs.

hey you i hate you!

2010-01-25T13:43:00.000-08:00

hello.

i NEED to update more often.it's not that i dont want to but the internet connection thwarted my intentions.i couldn't get connected or on any rare odds that I could, it's so freaking slow. I had to keep hitting the refresh icon. Few times. And to my despair 'the page cannot be displayed' or 'the connection was reset' appeared on the screen. Thanks mak hampa.

Bayar mahal-mahal tapi macam hape je.Ni internet Malaysia ke Botswana?Thanks celcom broadband. THANKS.

ps:ni i online before subuh.kalau tak memang tak dapat.

some rice please!

2010-01-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so stuffed macam pizza stuffed crust after dinner walaupun tak makan pizza? Well I'm sure you had. Kan kan kan? Tak payah gedik tak nak ngaku. Ngaku cepat. By that time you have to loosen up your belt to give some room for the new 'addition' to your life. Alah tak kan tak pernah? And you will blame the foods for being so good that I you cannot resist. Padahal memang salah sendiri makan tak ingat budget perut ade empat macam lembu. Pffft.

My brother in law and my sister once said that they don't mind bringing me to a buffet dinner or lunch or breakfast. Money well spent. A mountain-ish pile of foods from the spread on the plate,next thing you know BURP!!. End of story. I still remember one time when I went to a steamboat buffet I was so stuffed and bloated to the neck I nearly puked. Luckily my body still had some dignity to hold 'it' all inside. Macho bai. The ride home was painful. I had to recline the seat to give the foods a downhill ride to the pit of my stomach. Boleh imagine tak? Tak kira. Nak explain jugak. Kalau I duduk straight makanan tu macam segan lah nak turun sebab sempit kan. Claustrophobic mungkin. Tapi bile dah recline seat tu die jadi macam turun slide. So makanan tu happy je nak turun. And I even had to unbutton my jeans to persuade them. What a night!

But it was back when I was A LITTLE BIT slimmer and lighter on the scale. Oh how I miss the good old days. Now I have to watch what I eat because my weight is so pumped up to show bigger numbers. They are so obsessed with the bigger the better trend now. Maybe my body had gone loco after all the excessive 'care and fondles'. Kiasu sungguh. Mungkin jugak due to the overloading of sushis every once in a while.

But now I have a new problem. I'm so windy and gaseous that sometimes I felt so full even after a small sized meal. So I've came out with my own solution. Pop an Actal,put some Minyak Mestika on my tummy,give my tummy a warm cuddle with the bengkung and lie down. Soon enough I will be burping like a cow but I haven't heard any of the cows burped. And oh expect some farts too. Teehee.I'm blushing already. There goes my biggest secret. Ni dah kira potong markah dalam aspek pembinian. Tapi mungkin akan naik markah dalam aspek mak mertua-an sebab independent dan arif menggunakan kaedah tradisional dalam kata lain tak menghabiskan duit anak die demam sikit kena pergi Gleneagles wtf. To all the doctors to-be please give your opinion on what should I do to get over this problem.

Now let me feed with you some facts. Did you know that every six seconds a child dies because of hunger. How many children died in a year? You do the math. Mak tak kuasa. Ha ni tgh type ni pun dah ade budak meninggal kat Ethiopia tu. Sedih kan. Tak sedih kau bukan human.

Budak ni kalau ikut perkiraan mesti dah arwah. Pity him. He looks like he never had a proper meal. Tak rasa bersalah ke makan banyak-banyak tapi orang lain tak cukup makan? What about this boy? You can almost see the in-five-minute-dinner-will-be-ready-smile on the vulture's face. This picture won a Pulitzer award but I read somewhere that the photographer took his own life because of guilt after winning the award. Cue:nangis sekarang!

And it makes me think it's ok to punch this kids though technically they are not at fault. Adam and Sarah jangan jadi macam ni ok. Alolo cute kau pegang remote.

Ni lagi lah extra irritating. Large set tu bro. Ni pun mungkin dah mati. Heart failure or hypertension perhaps. Dead body in a expensive casket with a velvet lining. Beautiful words on the eulogy 'James was a child with a gold heart. He lighten up the life of many people'. Yes gold heart it is. Golden from all the greases and the fats. And I'm sure all the hotdog vendors and Mc Donalds which he had lighten up their lives will be mourning.

So what can you do? Click here.Answer the questions and 10 grains of rice for each correct answer will be donated to the needy. Yeah I know 10 grains of rice are nothing. Lekat celah gigi orang kata. But if you and you and you answer at least 10 correct answer per day,believe me every grains of that rice will helps someone to keep living. It's a win-win situation. They get their rice and you gain knowledge. Hooray! The world is not so cruel after all=)

Please please please. I'm begging you guys. Help them. We have nothing to lose. What if it happens to your family?

DAH PERGI MAIN SEKARANG. CLICK HERE NOW!!!

ps:makan lempeng berkeping-keping,lepas makan sila pumping.
pps:i malas nak pergi class lah sekarang. sokongan moral sikit boleh?

'supermodelme' failed attempt

2010-01-12T09:25:00.000-08:00

meletop tak mak pose ni nyah?clipart.com

I wore my new wedges today.Clap clap.Ok gila bimbo nak bangga pakai wedges baru.But that's not what I'm trying to say.My feet hurt.Pity them.Have to support my whale-ish body the WHOLE day.I'm more to flip flops and flats and the wedges must gave quite a shock to my kaki halus mulus.Blergh.I normally wear wedges or high heels for special occasions like make gulai or graduation or dinners which I don't have to walk so much.Pergi makan makan makan balik end of story.But this morning I was in my melawa mood but all my effort goes swwoosh down the drain as I ended up queuing for almost two hours with my somekind of wobbly feet and people pushing me from all sides.Mak taw lah mak glemer nyah.Jangan lah tolak.Ok alasan konon hot.Padahal sebab pendek orang main tolak je.Pfft.Mental note:jangan pakai heels or wedges bile register.Tapi semangat kental nak jugak pergi pyramid.Gila tak sedar diri.Spent a few good hours walking there.But have to maintain the supermodel struts or I would look like hantu Mona Fendy tengah tarik besi bunyi streeet streeet.And for my case it's tarik wedges.Phew.So much hardwork in a day.

So now I'm on my bed.Cursing the inventor of high heels,wedges whatnots.Dreaming for a hot hunk to massage my feet.Which is unlikely to happen.But the Imelda Marcos in me will still keep me buying high heels and wedges which in the end will 'bites' me.Ouch.Damn you !@$%&^*!!!

AND WHY DO YOU STILL THINK HIGH HEELS ARE ATTRACTIVE??

ps:back to school people!!!

mati itu pasti

2010-01-08T00:01:00.000-08:00

It feels weird when my FB's sidebar thingy showed 'Mohd Hanafi Mohamed says hello'.No,it's kind of spooky.

If could turn back time, I want to say to you how much aku treasure our friendship. Tapi aku tak leh Pi. And somehow deep down ade jugak aku regret tak reply msg or rase serabut bila mu call. But now sometimes I cried alone coz I missed you. Aku simpan msgs mu. Biarlah common msg 'cute' which I think I'm not the only one hok dapat pon. At least it reminds me of you and it is something that I can hold on to. Aku rindu gak boleh aku tenung msg tu.

Banyak benda kita plan tapi tak buat kan Pi. Nak jadi jiran, nak makan sushi, nak beli oblong. Tapi takpelah. HE loves you more. Untung mu Pi gi dulu. Kurang sikit dosa. Aku ni duk sini duk tambah dosa jah. Aku pindah dah loni to section 7. Just the way we planned. Neighbour aku tak best Pi. Ngepek sokmo. Kalau mu neighbour aku kan best. Boleh main ketuk tin. Boleh main masak-masak. Aku ingat time aku lapar je aku cari mu mintak tolong beli makanan. Tapi each and everytime mesti mu duk lain. Tapi mu tak biar aku gitu je kan. Mesti after that call aku tanya makan dah ke tak. Now aku tak de kawan macam mu Pi. Kalau aku msg Deli kate aku lapar pon 4 hari after that baru die reply.

Tapi Pi after mu gi baru aku macam appreciate orang sikit. Sikit je lah. Tak banyak. Tapi it helps me a lot. Mu taw kan aku ego. But right now aku try ngaju kejap je. Aku takut aku duk ngaju tak reply msg tak angkat call orang aku ngaju tu tinggal aku forever gano? Thanks Pi. Mu buat aku sedar tu. Aku nak oyak gapo pon aku beringat. Tapi sokmo jugak terlepas. Tapi aku nasib baik lagi .Sempat jugak mintak maaf. I don't want to die after saying bad things about someone and I don't want the person whom aku 'ngato' die with my words on their minds. Loni gapo-gapo aku kasar aku mintak maaf selalu Pi. Kalau tak aku tak sedar.

I hope you are doing fine down there Napi. Aku taw ramai orang doa ko mu. I tried to visit you but neither Deli nor Pa knows where you are. Nanti next time aku gi deh kalau panjang umur. InsyaAllah. I miss you Napi. Rindu.....

MOHD HANAFI MOHAMED 1989-2009

AL-FATIHAH

ps:please do come into my dreams.I don't mind.
pps:abu raihan,are you mad at me?

MEMANG takkan melayu hilang di dunia

2010-01-05T04:04:00.000-08:00

1)Bukak Google Image.

2)Search 'Melayu'.

3)Tengok search result.

Di mana Jalur Gemilang?Di mana Dataran Merdeka?Di mana Tun Mahathir.Saya memang berbangga tak terhingga menjadi Melayu.Anda bagaimana?

ps:nasib baik saya Scottish.*coughs*
pps:Happy New Year everyone.

hey baby!

2009-12-31T06:18:00.000-08:00

She's cute. She's adorable. I want her!! Oh i hope my daughter will be just like her.

Hello baby,can u hear me?Nanti baby jadi macam ni taw.Mommy nak tidur baby nyanyi and daddy gosok belakang.*sambil gosok perut*

ps:she's two years old.
pps:happy new year everyone!

me+train=endless woes

2009-12-29T09:27:00.000-08:00

macam ni baru thrill!

Imagine that you are ~~almost~~ 5 ft ~~short~~ tall.The person behind u is pushing u inwards but the person in front of u is shouting 'weh takde otak ke?jangan tolak lah'. That's when you will feel like you are a salmon in its journey upstream. Menentang arus orang Melayu kata. Kalau go ahead kena makan kat beruang,kalau stop nanti tak boleh mengawan. Nak pilih yang mane? The latter of course. Haha. Mengawan lagi penting but only if I were a salmon lah kan. Atau mungkin bagai pepatah Melayu diluah mati emak,ditelan mati bapak. Mungkin. Kesabaran yang nipis diuji bertubi-tubi. Oh don't forget that you are not even 5ft tall. Stuck in between strangers, memang lemas sambil mulut berdoa untuk dikurniakan ketinggian extra di masa yang paling kritikal ini making you the filling of a human sandwich.

OK dah boleh masuk.

Seat penuh. The whole train is effing packed. Where to go? Cari tiang untuk berpeluk since ketinggian tidak mengizinkan untuk bergayut di besi overhead. Tengok sekeling. Oh rase sangat kosmopolitan dan global bila nampak Indons, Burmese, Nigerians, Filipinos berada dalam train yang sama. Rasa lagi hebat bila melihat rakyat sendiri memerah tenaga berdiri bergayut sekuat hati tetapi foreigners *usually indons* memadu asmara duduk di atas kerusi. Mungkin saya tak global, tapi bila naik train di negara sendiri rasa macam di negara asing saat itulah rasa nak buat salam perantauan. Boleh kira dengan jari berapa orang Malaysians in a coach. Given the substantial amount of illegal immigrants,I'm pretty sure only 1 out of 4 of the so called foreigners is PATI. This is based on my frequent observation because I always play a guessing game when I'm on the train. It's called 'Malaysian ke tak'. The rule is simple,teka je lah orang tu Malaysian ke tak. Nak tahu jawapan senang je. Dengar lah cara die cakap macam mane. Tapi kalau nak tahu jawapan lagi tepat tunggulah bila ade pegawai imigresen. Kalau orang tu kena escort surelah tu he'll get a free ride balik negara asal. Syabas rakyat Malaysia. Memang kita pemurah dan menghormati tetamu.

Standing among strangers in a crowded place is hardwork. You'll have people oops! purposely grabs your !@#, breathing on your neck, stepping on your foot(lagi best bila orang tu pakai heels). So what to do? Kalau defend depan belakang terdedah, defend belakang depan terdedah. In the end,you will be clutching to your bag for your dear life. And you will notice that the person beside you is in bliss sebab dapat rezeki extra hari ini. Oh you know what I'm trying to say. I have my own personal experience on this matter. Kalau handsome ~~rela~~ ok lah jugak ni muka tak siap.

Oh your height makes you more vulnerable. Why? BECAUSE YOUR NOSE IS PARALLEL TO OTHER PEOPLE's SMELLY ARMPITS. And thank you strangers for sharing me the wonders of your tropical forest down there. Very much appreciated. Hurm. You know all these tall people has to bergayut to that besi kat atas so that is why I'm more privileged than others because when they lift their hands,my nose is literally just beside their armpits. I can even estimate when was their last shave. Euw. Sometimes dirty thoughts do ignite. Maybe their partners enjoy playing with bulu ketiak. Boleh pusing-pusing. Alah macam high school girl in love on the phone. Hahahaha. One word,GELI! Hell no. Geli is not enough.

Thank god the next stop is yours.Phew.

So when the government announced that our public transportation sysytem will be upgraded, a smile was plastered to my face. But I can help thinking that the Indons, Burmese and so on will benefit more from these amenities. Jahat kan.But HELLO MR MINISTERS THAT'S THE HARD FACT. Get on board the Komuter and you'll know. Tapi jangan main kotor bawak entourage sekampung dengan wartawan sekali naik coach kosong. Tu main tipu. Memang lah rasa selesa macam tu. Adoi. Or maybe we don't have to worry about which car to give to the ministers. Nak bagi Perdana ke Camry bagai. Bagi je lah naik Komuter, LRT. Barulah terbukti pemimpin berjiwa rakyat. Anyway,terima kasih saya ucapkan.

ps:lepas ni sure kena buluh runcing kalau pergi indon.
pps:buy me a car anyone?ehehe
pps:budak ni nak kena ISA ni.

but tummy can't be jingled!!

2009-12-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

that's Adam sucking in his tummy and Sarah

Hello Santa.

I missed something from my letter. I'm so sorry. I know it's quite late already as you have a dateline to meet but I think u still can get one of your elves to FedEx it to you. I bet you are now zooming across the world,squeezing your tummy through the tight chimneys. It must be hard. But what happened if the house doesn't has a chimney? Herm.

I want a Disney World vacation for my family. It's especially for my nephew,Adam but some time together with the family won't hurt right. He wants to go to Disneyland so bad since one of his classmates in Q-dees already went there. He's a very clever boy and I'm sure he is not in your naughty list. Except for the part when he called me 'Ciksu busuk' or 'Ciksu Gemuk' every now and then. I'm OK with it coz I know he is so jealous of his gorgeous Ciksu *coughs* I promised him to take him to Disneyland when I'm rich, but u know how an accountant is very particular with money.Plus,by that time I might already have 4 kids and Adam is probably 20 years old already. Disneyland won't be so exciting for him anymore. I know he wants this so bad because he always mention this in his prayers. You know how a five years old is. He doesn't know how to solat but he tries his best to perform Maghrib with his Mommy so that he can go to Disneyland. I once heard him said 'Ya Allah, bagilah mommy dengan papa banyak duit.Biar boleh bawak Adam pergi Disneyland'.How cute is that.Sadly,he already has his list of the selected people to go to Disneyland with him, and I'm not included.Hence I could only tag along to Disneyland if I'm the one who take him there. I think he's jealous because he knows that I'll look cuter than him with that Mouse's ears ting. I'll buy you one of that thing once I'm there.Please Santa,this is not just for Adam,it's for me too.Tee-hee.Oh by the way,I also enclosed one of Adam's picture above for your quick reference.

ps:why settle for disneyland if we have disney world.
pps:i hate it when shopping malls went crazy decorating for xmas while they just put a few ketupats for raya.
ppps:merry christmas.hohoho

don't jingle the bells,jingle your tummy!

2009-12-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

How are you? I bet it must be super freezing up there in North Pole but I reckon I don't have to worry because you have Mrs. Claus to look after you. Or is she taking a vacation in Bahamas now because you're ignoring her due to your workloads? That's not cool old man. Or is it because the Pole is getting smaller because the glaciers have melted? Oh poor polar bears. My best wishes to them. Maybe they have to consider to move to Malaysia. It's nice down here but I'm afraid the can't keep the fur so 'clorox-like' white anymore.

Do I have to tell you why I write to you? Oh you must knew it already. Am I in your nice list? Don't tell me I'm in your naughty list cause I've been a really nice girl this year. And I know I deserve a present or two ~~or maybe more~~. I promise I'll leave the most delicious cookies for you but promise me that you are not going to eat all cookies in every house you will go or else I'll just leave u some crackers. My dad always eat cream crackers for breakfast and he is as healthy as the cow.

U know what I want right Santa? But, I think it is ok for me to remind you once again. Just in case your elves don't keep their list up-to-date. So here we go. Can I get ~~all~~ one of these?

1) New shoes. I'm a shoes addict but I can't and I don't buy them so often. I have a concrete reason for that. Somehow I'm in between of size 5 and 6. They don't sell size 5 1/2. It breaks my heart when I intend to buy new shoes but none fits me. All I can do is stare at them, visualizing them on my feet while singing my version of 'Out of Reach' by Gabrielle. Do you know that song? It goes like this 'Out of reach,too far,I'll never have your heart'. In my case it's 'Out of reach,too far,I'll never have u shoes'. You know I'll ask you for new shoes next year,so why don't we make this easier for both of us? Just bestow me with endless shoes for the rest of my life so I'll stop making the same request every year. Tee-hee.

2) Macbook Pro. Probably you are wondering why do I need a Macbook as I only use laptop to surf the net and I'm totally not a tech junkie. I didn't even know what is IDM, not till a friend told me about it. It's the Internet Download Manager for god's sake. It's a miracle that my laptop is still functioning after all these years. So,end her misery and give my the Macbook Pro and I promise to take great care of her and you know that white looks good on me though I'm not wearing the Macbook.U got my point Santa?

3) New phone. My phone is already a little over two years old. And at these parts of the world,gadgets go obsolete in a week. Do the math. My phone technically was born in the Jurassic years of technology,the new millennium has passed and I'm still clinging to it. Hence, a new phone is very much appreciated. He's now not adapting much to the new environment, thanks to the global warming I suppose, and I want to be fully prepared (reads:a new phone in my hands to inform my friends) if he ever dies on me.

4) New car for my mom. My dad is so in love with his cars. He doesn't even have the heart to sell it off not even they are beaten up. Poor mama as she is the main driver of the car know since my dad is more comfortable with his bike. It's not that he can't afford it but he just don't want to sell to old cars. You might say 'just ask him to buy the car.He doesn't need to sell the car'. Mind you,a new addition without any disposal is not a good idea since only my mom and dad are going to use them. So three cars for two people is a big NO NO. It doesn't meet the 'value for money' quality that I've learned. One has to ensure the efficiency,effectiveness and the economic value before decicing. That's what Mdm. Siti and Mr. Ganisen taught me. U must be proud of me,applying my knowledge in my everyday life. LOL. My dad is not going to drive the car. He prefers his Honda 50CC over new cars. Plus,my mom drives only when necessary like to buy some groceries and 'make gulai'. Other than that,the cars are as good as dead.

5)Randall Amplifiers. I can't strum the guitars and heck I never ever owned one yet I'm hoping to see my stockings filled with this thing.Crazy u might think. He wants it sooooooo bad but he can't afford it now. Neither do I. And I don't think that we can afford to buy it even if we piled our money together. Please Santa. Seeing his face light up will be a bliss. I know how it hurts wanting something that you know you can't get. Just like me and the shoes. Sobs.

So that's all Santa. You know how lazy I am in updating my blog and I've made a huge effort to write this letter to you. I'd appreciate it if you grant one of my wishes,but try granting all of it. You will feel so much better.Trust me. I recommend that you try it now. I mean NOW!!! Till next year,xoxoxo

ps:can i borrow one of your elves?
pps:snow would be nice.
ppps:this is just for fun!
pppps:why cant blogspot make the font colours more fun?ergh

KENAPA?WHY?PORQE?

2009-12-21T10:41:00.000-08:00

Facebook die penuh orang puji lawa cantik anggun bergaya cute berduyun-duyun?

Tapi saya?

Ha,jealous lah tu*slapbutt*

ps:betol ke eja porqe macam tu?hahaha
pps:nak tido sebab rase down.sebab rase down nak tido.ok dah hebat buat inversi.
ppps:oh this is just a random rambling.tidak ditujukan kepada sesiapa.

mommy,where is my present?

2009-12-19T03:36:00.000-08:00

Facebook is the essence of our life.Is the word 'facebook' has already been included in the major dictionaries?I don't think so cause I can't find any definition of 'facebook' on the net.But I think they should 'christened' it just like what they did with Google.People just can't get enough of facebook.But the wonderwoman bie hashim can go two months long without it.~~Tu pun sebab tak bayar broadband~~.Tapi tibe-tibe hati ini berbisik,'eh bodohnya facebook ni'.

Ask me why?

BECAUSE,we just simply let strangers flooding into our life.As for me,I try to keep my facebook 'friends' only to my real life friends.Friend of a friend?Only selected few.It's already hard enough for me to keep in touch with my almost 400 'friends'.I don't know how those with 2000 'friends' could cope.Do they really have 2000 friends?Maybe,who knows.

The best part is,u can simply delete the 'friends' from your list.Oh how I wish it could happened in real life.Gaduh delete,lepas tu add balik.Bff forever whatsnot bla bla bla delete balik.Apekah jenis kehidupan?Tak pun memang saje-saje nak delete sebab malu that someone is in your oh-so-cool-'friends' list.Do U think that U can literally end the friendship ikatan silaturrahim dan ukhwah yang telah terjalin with a click?One word,pathetic.

An example of delete add balik:A guy who cursed me with all the bad words imaginable saying that I'm harrasing his girlfriend.Adoi did I look like I got nothing to do?Kalau gua harass awek lu,dah lame la gua kenal sape minah tu*ayat nak gengster je*.After I explained that I did nothing without even raising my voice pun still nak maki kan.Ni memang bodoh lah name die.But fret not,this is only bodoh part one.Tak abes cerita lagi.Turns out that big grin shitty face of his is on my 'friends' to approved list.Maybe he is suffering from amnesia.Dah tak ingat kot mulut celupar gile babi.My dear girls,Ayu and Pise told me just to accept the request berbekalkan pepatah 'buang yang keruh ambil yang jernih'.With all the perempuan-sial-memalukan makian is still ringing I accepted it just for the sake that we had been a good friends before.Hish terus pegi tegur dekat Facebook chat 'howwa u?how u've been doing?'.!#$^.Senang gile kutuk anak orang terus bila add dekat Facebook dosa kau hilang lah?Banyak cantik.Aku tak sebaik tu.

Lepas tu gambar dekat Facebook semua nak pose bergaya mutu keunggulan.Ergh.For the girls,mostly nak gambar tak nampak dahi sikit dengan mata bulat mulut muncung.Eh,do I have a picture like that?Hahaha.As for the guys,dada mesti nak nampak.Lagi bulu lagi bagus.Kalu pakai shades lagi bagus.Baru nampak macam Once.Blergh.I don't want my 'friend' actually is a sick pedophile who spend his days laying on the couch looking for innocent,angelic,vulnerable little girl like me *lolz* just to satisfy his 'needs'.Creepy cukup.

Why do some people needs to get their daily dose of facebook?Facebook-ing over coffee,facebook-ing after dinner,facebook-ing at break,faceboook facebook all day along.Time to sleep:Ops,gotta check my facebook first.Don't want to miss any updates.

Ok sesi merepek tamat sebab nak tengok Moulin Rouge.Bakal bersambung.

ps:super lama tak update.ergh.
pps:diet baru:makan tido makan makan.sure turun 6kgs over the holiday.
pps:this entry is made by an avid facebooker.

I'm not going to kiss a frog!

2009-12-13T11:14:00.000-08:00

My oh my.My next paper,the LAST paper is on Tuesday and yet I still haven't found neither my thinking cap nor any 'apetite' to study.I feel like the whole knowledge,only if there is any inside of me is going to gush out every time I tried my best to revise.And since my past two papers seemed not 'pass-able' I have no other choice.Have to get my heavy head cranking or else I'll failed this paper also.

But since fail is not an option to me so please my friends or even you are a stranger who happened to be reading my blog,PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for me.

oh no!

2009-11-15T20:47:00.000-08:00

Kenapa nak sebut barli panas pergi sebut bandung panas?
Kenapa nak sebut marjerin pergi sebut minyak?
Kenape nak order kue tiaw pergi sebut bubur?
Kenape nak sebut kiri pergi sebut kanan?

Seriously I don't know what is wrong with my brain.It happened for a few times already.Last night nasib baik tak marah waiter cause bawak bandung panas.In fact I memang order bandung panas bukan barli panas.Last-last tak minum.Sape la minum bandung panas kan.Euw.

Maybe I'm having some sort of neuron malfunction.Perhaps all my neurotransmitter are on a strike sebab makan tak cukup?Or maybe this is a sign that i'm slowly losing my mind sebab kuat sangat berfikir?Herm.Pffft.

ps:ni semue salah mama tak bagi susu DHA dulu.
pps:nak kene makan lagi bnyak ke nak pujuk neurotransmitters tu?ehe.

oh shit

2009-11-05T06:40:00.001-08:00

Somebody please slap my butt!

PEMALAS sangat ni.

MATAHARIKU

2009-10-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

My parents are leaving for Mecca to perform their Haj next Tuesday. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Grateful I am. But I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit anxious. This will be the fourth time for ayah and the second time for mama. Biarlah ayah saya bawak motor Honda 50cc tak bawak Jaguar pon yang penting investment akhirat cukup. And why am i afraid? No. Bukan sebab dah tak dapat tidur bawah ketiak mama and dah tak dapat 'hello,ayah nak duit' for a month. Takut dengan segala dugaan dan cabaran yang bakal dihadapi both of them. Dengan segala ragam manusia dari seluruh pelusuk dunia. Semoga mereka sabar menghadapi segala ujian dari Nya.

My dad is already 70 and that is an extra point why am I afraid. He once said 'If ayoh xdop di Mekoh ayoh redha'. And i jokingly said 'Ish kalu nak xdop pon tunggu la tengok cucu dari bie. Haha'. But deep inside I'm bawling despite my lame joke and my happy face which I tried to put on. Me and ayah,the family resemblances are there. Mama always said that I'm the mini version of ayah. Even all the mak ciks and relatives said 'Serupo dengan ayah die'. Let it be due to our fairness,laziness,our obsession to think bout others sampai sakit kepala,our romantic-ness, I am very much flattered and so very thankful to be his daughter. We didn't get along very well when i was 13-15 years old. Estrogen kicked in,konon dah besar,matang lagi dewasa. And yes I'm regretting every single minutes of it. If only I could turn back time and undo it. Tapi bak kata Miasara dalam Papadom 'MUNGKIN hanya lahir dari hati orang yang tak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada di depan mata'. So I'm living the moment,no turning back to my foolish days and trying to make up for all the things I've done or said.

A few days before Raya,I cried watching iklan Raya. Call me gay I don't care. Mungkin abu raihan menangis tengok iklan Pieere Andre sebab die tak confirm dapat balik Raya tak but I cried watching the Petronas ad. At least I think it's from Petronas. Ala yang 'nanti kakak besar,kakak dengan adik makan sini. Ayah makan kat sana.' Sape rajin cari lah. Sape malas tunggu Raya next year tengok ok. The gist is so obvious. How can't we look after the guy who have been looking after us all our life. How am I afraid that I would turn to be that Malin Kundang.Ya Allah please give me the guidance so that I won't go astray.

Guys,please pray that my parents will have a safe journey and dikurniakan haji mabrur.Amin.

ps:ayah,i love you*teary eyes*
pps:im feeling completely drained both mentally and physically.
ppps:go go tengok papadom.

there was a little voice in my head.

2009-09-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

orang kate

kalau mimpi kene patuk ular

nanti ade orang besar nak meminang

tapi kalu mimpi kene gigit jerung

ape orang kate?

ps:mungkin jodoh sudah ter~~sangap~~sangat dekat?*slapbutt*
pps:mungkin jodoh dah di-ngap jerung?

dalam dingin subuh...

2009-09-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

I've made 1786 desperate attempt to update this blog and none managed to overcome the excessive 'backspac-ing'.Darn! Am I getting duller day by day as much as I'm getting fatter?Blergh.Hope not.Well ramadhan is over.And so does syawal tho syawal is a month long.But the much awaited 1st sywal is poof-ed already!There goes the year long excitement.All the hustle of thinking which baju to wear,kaler ape sume dah takde.Yang ade are all the damn fattening foods that will stay at my waist.As I grow older,I've realised that how raya is nothing different than any other days ~~sebab duit raya dah kurang~~.When i was younger,Raya is the time of the year when Azirah Hashim will be extremely rajin helping out dengan harapan nak duit raya lebih.Hahaha.Tapi sekarang tak lagi.No.Bukan sekarang tak rajin.Sekarang AZIRAH IS STILL RAJIN without needing the 'motivation'.

On pagi raya,I tengok la siaran langsung Sembahyang Raya dekat RTM tu since ~~since my period cycle mereng xleh tunggu 1 more day~~.Tapi i sakit hati lagi annoyed tengok tu.WHY?Coz all the jemaah had to wait for YDPA and PM dulu before they can perform their solat aidilfitri.And the two fellas came with all the 'big guy' escorts dengan red carpet lagi nasib baik takde pulut kuning,bungga manggar and kompang.I admit that I'm a bit shallow in Islam tapi kita kan serupa di sisi-Nya.The only difference is iman and taqwa right?So i memang tak berkenan with this practice.Biarlah the leaders and the rakyats get the same treatment in masjids.Tak payah la nak tunggu ape sume.Macam ajal maut jodoh pertemuan.Ade die tunggu anybody?Takde kan.Kate 1Malaysia kan?.Isk stop.Nanti masuk bab politic pulak.

Rase tak bile besar,lagi kecik rase raya tu?As in dah tak ter'excited' sangat.Poyo la kan tak excited padahal baju raya 4 pasang pon still nak tambah.Dush!My point is,when we were kids semue excited terlompat-lompat bile tengok pengisytiharan raya then bila malam memang tidur tak lena takut miss raya.Tapi bile dah besar,apart from the 'raya shopping' there's not much kan.Dah tak rase excited macam dulu.Excited sebab dah managed to puasa,excited sebab dapat jumpa all the relatives yang duduk nun jauh and that's it.What's left is the fattening Raya foods which will cling ages to my waist.Lepas tu dah tak de ape untuk di excitedkan.Raya sekarang macam kosong.Am i taking my raya for granted?Perhaps.

And oh di hari yang mulia ini saya ingin menyusun jari memohon kemaafan di atas salah silap,terguris hati,ter-over perbuatan.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA.MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN.duit raya?

ps:semue orang datang puji saya dah kurus.mungkinkah ini akan kekal selepas raya?

pps:please don't ISAsized me.

ppps:jemput lah datang rumah.

aku rindu padamu..

2009-09-09T07:45:00.000-07:00

Ramadhan is almost over.A few weeks ago i was so eager waiting for Ramadhan to come ni dah nak raya dah.Ok i have to admit it,I'm more eager to meet Syawal.Hahaha.Silly me.But alhamdulillah terawih tahun ni lagi banyak dari last year sebagaimana baju raya tahun ni lagi banyak dari last year.Hahaha.Sebab ade 4 baju raya so kene lah ibadah lebih sikit kan.Baru worth it.Ramadhan brings pool of memories to me.Kadang-kadang rasa macam semalam masih budak.Tengok-tengok hari ni dah boleh jadi mak budak.How time flies.There are many memorable moments from my childhood ramadhan.And i miss them deeply.Kan best ade doraemon.Boleh masuk laci naik mesin masa pergi time kecik-kecik dulu.Tapi nak buat camne,doraemon tak wujud and if doraemon ade pon i sure tak muat masuk laci tu.Tsk tsk.

MY RAMADHAN MOMENTS:

i)Bila dah tak tahan sangat lapar,letih,penat sume pergilah masuk bathroom.Berendam.Tak tak payah imagine berendam dalam bath tub.Takde maknanya.Bukak shower paling laju then baring la atas lantai.Lepastu berangan la tengah ade orang massage tak pun tengah swimming.Lepastu konon practice bubbling dengan air.Ade rezeki masuk la air sikit.Rofl.Tapi sekarang dah tak buat dah coz makruh mandi lama-lama.Betol.

ii)'Mama,bie sakit perut lah.Tak leh bangun ni.Tak pergi terawih eh'.Dialog biasa kalau dekat disney channel ade cite best.Time-time puasa ni la ada concert N'sync pujaan hati ~~tapi sekarang malu nak ngaku pernah minat~~,Nickelodeon Award whatsnot.Before mama pergi muka selembek macam kutu,after tak dengar enjin terus jerit-jerit macam gila tengok Lance Bass.Tapi dasar Lance tak guna dah jadi gay.Buat penat je jerit dulu.Sape tak taw Lance Bass die lame time kecik dulu ok.

iii)Pastu kalau pergi terawih pon mama mesti kene semayang belakang sikit.Sebab anak mama perut lembu makan banyak tapi time terawih tersenguk-sengguk kalah pak bilal.Konon save la sikit kan mama semayang belakang sikit.Jatuh boleh support.Pfft

iv)Masjid mustaqim and masjid kemumin.Ni masjid yang berjaya 'dibasahkan' time terawih dulu.Ok tak nak go into detail dah.Sensitif.Nanti dah tak ade orang nak masuk meminang dah.

v)Dulu time 6 tahun terawih saf paling belakang.Then ade budak laki kacau.Comel gila.Anak arab ok.Lepastu gelak la gedik-gedik.Sekali mama taw terus dah tak pergi masjid tu.Hampa.Cinta kami dipisahkan.First love tu weh.Pfft.

vi)Pernah tercekik onde-onde aka buah melaka sebab nak challenge abang hebat boleh telan bende tu sekaligus.Terus biru muka.Nasib baik selamat.Kalau tak sure haru 'seorang kanak-kanak mati tercekik buah melaka wtf' keluar front page.

vii)Simen depan rumah pernah terbakar kena mercun gasing.Sume cuak sebab takot kene marah.Masuk rumah tak cakap kat mama.Tapi kalau dah simen tu berkeripot keriyot sure la kantoi kan.

Ok dah la tu.Audit ade banyak kene buat.Finance pon tak siap lagi.Nak maen game lagi.Hish.So little time,so much to do.Ayat tipikal orang malas la tu.

Bye people!Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir Batin.

ps:my birthday is getting close!!!nak bagi macbook pon i terima.hahahaha
pps:sape ade resipi biskut raya best?

BITTER SWEET

2009-09-03T02:15:00.000-07:00

Dulu...
Saya pernah kata 'If you are happy,i'm happy for you'.
Tapi saya tak maksudkannya pon.
Sebab saya nak tengok awak jatuh.
Sebab life awak macam perfect.
And awak selalu eksyen dengan saya.

Sekarang,
Bila saya kata 'Are u kidding me?I'm happy for you!'.
Tu memang dari hati saya.
Sebab awak deserved all that.
Dan saya tahu saya pon deserved the happiness.
Saya, awak, kita ade are taking different route to happiness.

For everything we've shared, silly jokes, deep conversations, i-wet-my-pants-laughter,
I'm THANKFUL.

ps:oh i cant wait for december to come.cepatlah!

deep inside i'm lost

2009-08-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah.Shukran Ya Allah.I've passed all the 3 papers with whooping marks should i say.
I'll be forever grateful to HIM for showing me the path which i never thought i could take.For giving me strength through it all,the beacon for my insignificant soul.

ps:should have posted this looooong ago.a short post is still too much for a procrastinator
pps:this is onlt the beginning.

PCD is banned!!!Totally..

2009-08-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

the 'pcd in me'.terserlah dari kecik y'all

I have TWO papers tomorrow.And they are such a nuisance since i haven't gotten my exam result.Okay here's the drill.I'm taking ACCA so result will be out 2 months after the exam.Macam SPM lah kan.Jawab exam macam gila lepastu enjoy macam gila tak pon menangis gila sebab kena masuk plkn lepastu baru cuak gila tunggu result.Ha,macam tu lah!Get my point tak?So sape lah nak study kan if result last sitting tak dapat lagi.But since Uitm has a very strict policy so kena lah study jugak.Tapi i tak study pon.Ngehee.Btw,my result will be out this monday.Come on y'all!Keep your fingers ape sume crossed i'll pass all three papers.InsyaAllah.

And yesterday i came out with a theory that kegatalan seseorang perempuan itu bertambah bila mengalami mensturasi.Guess what people?!My theory is definitely right.Betol tak tipu.I siap buat research okeh.Tak caye click sini.Tak pe i taw korang takkan click punye.Nasib baik i baik hati tolong tiru tampal.

Women can experience a variety of sensations before, during or after their menses. Common complaints include backache, pain in the inner thighs, bloating, nausea, diarrhea, constipation, headaches, breast tenderness, irritability, and other mood changes. Women also experience positive sensations such as relief, release, euphoria, new beginning, invigoration, connection with nature, creative energy, exhilaration, increased sex drive and more intense orgasms.

Woh i bangga.Walaupun biology b3 time spm dulu dapat i berjaya buat theory macam ni.Nyatalah pengalaman hidup lagi bermakna dari buku teks biology.Ok ayat macam pelik tapi tak pe asal i paham.So girls,sedarlah kita untung jadi perempuan.Next time if u rase mamat kat depan tu handsome and rase nak kenyit mata tapi boifren ade kat sebelah go ahead.Kalau boifren sound cakap la 'ala sayang,i period.memang macam ni.hormon ape sume.u kene paham'.

Woots!

ps:i think we girls have millions of excuses aite?

pps:please please please pray for me.

ppps:i dont think i should swim in a public pool anymore.H1N1 is sooo scareeee..

pppps:i HATE pussycat dolls.yet 'hush hush' keeps playing in my head.ironic isn't it?

my lips like sugar.

2009-08-09T02:34:00.000-07:00

2 hours to go.

oh god please make the clock ticks faster.

say HELLO to marilyn monroe!

2009-08-02T05:19:00.000-07:00

hey loves!

Is it normal for us women to feel 'weh-aku-gemuk-perut-boroi-pipi-menggelebeh'?It's normal kan kan?Please jawab normal coz kalau tak nampak sangat I yang tak normal.And laki macam abu n zul tak payah gedik nak jawab.Anda tak tercalon dalam kategori ni.

I think there are definitely something in us women maybe some sort of crazy hormone yang boleh buat our brain jadi meroyan lalu potrays our body 10 size bigger.So timbullah rase sangat bloated lagi bulky lalu keluar nafsu nak diet.Dan bila diet tak jadi terus hampa tak nak makan kalau makan pon nasik sejemput padahal perut jakun yang tak boleh tak makan nasik lapar gile.Lepas tu tanya si boyfie 'Syg,i gemuk tak?'.Bile cik boifren jawab 'No syg.U tak gemuk'.Terus mengamuk kate teman lelaki tipu saje nak amek hati dengan ayat 'U tipu!U cakap camtu sebab u boyfriend i kan?!'.Tapi bile boyfren cakap 'Erm,u bulat sikit' terus merajuk tak nak keluar makan dah.Like what is wrong with us kan?Kenapa perlu ade rasa aku gemuk ke weh?THIN IS SO OVERRATED BTW.

Ape best jadi kurus kan?Angin tiup boleh melayang,kene langgar sikit boleh patah.And the best part orang kurus tak best dihug*tu wan pai kate*.LOL.Seriously i bengang with all the slimming program ad.Macam dah takde bende laen nak iklan.Dahtu sampai bila mentality kita nak betol.U GUYS ARE THE REASONS WHY WOMEN LIKE ME FEEL INSECURE.I still remember there was this one time when i was having a great time with my friends in a mall tiba-tiba datang sorang minah datang and gave me a slimming program pamphlet.I wouldn't even give a shit if she gave it to all of us.Tapi ni ONLY to me.Serious malu.She kinda ruined my day.Tanx!I don't think im not THAT fat sampai nak kena enrol in a slimming programme.That's why whenever i see ade booth yang offer slimming program dengan salesgirl yang mata gila galak mencari mangsa i akan avoid it.These people sangat demotivating and i certainly don't need that in my life.

Whatever it is,I know that I'm beautiful no matter what and all the shits u say won't bother me because IF IM UGLY SO ARE U!

ps:dialog di atas tiada kene mengena dengan yang hidup atau yang mati.
pps:nampak sangat gila kan.paragraph atas emo.yang bawah perasan plak.
pps:i need to learn how to choose a good friend.

my best friend is maya karin.

2009-07-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

By now i guess u guys already know how gatal-nak-kawen-i-am*wink angkat kening gatal*.But mama kate 'bie nak couple tunggu abes belajar dulu!'.So impian nak kawen memang hancur luluh berkecai terhempas ke bumi lah kan.Mama tak tau ke anak mama ni gatal?

Tapi....

Tapi...

Tapi i jumpa tag ni!Lalu terus menjadi rajin mengetag diri walaupun tak ditag walaupun hutang tag masih berlambak sekaligus menjadikan 2 posts dalam sehari.Sorry ye alin,fatin n abu.Akan datang tag itu.Real soon.Don't worry.

So ayuh mengetag diri sendiri!

How old are you going to be when you get married?

Put an X in every box that applies to you.

Add up all the x`s and title subject with the sum as "My marriage age is__"

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You do your own laundry
[ ] You vote every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are exciting
[x] You balance your own checkbook
[ ] Your parents have better things to say than your friends

Total: 5

[ ] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[ ] You've never gotten a detention
[ ] You have never smoked a cigarette
[ ] You have never gotten completely trashed
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[X] You like to take walks by yourself
[X] You've watched talk shows.
[X] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[ ] You drink coffee[caffiine] at least once a week.

Total: 3

[X] You know how to do the dishes.
[X] You can count to 10 in another language.
[ ] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[ ] My parents trust me
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[ ] You remember to water the plants
[X] You study when you have to
[x] You pay attention at school/college
[ ] You remember to feed your pets

Total: 5

[X] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
[ ] You work out on a regular basis.
[ ] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at StarbucksBakerzin know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[X] You have gained weight since middle/high school
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[X] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly

Total: 4

[ ] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[ ] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[ ] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[x] You can say no to staying out all night
[ ] You use the internet every day
[ ] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[X] You can read a book and actually finish it

Total: 2
GRAND TOTAL: 19
MY MARRIAGE AGE IS:*drumrolls everyone* 19

See..memang nampak sangat lah gatal kan.Tag ni pon memahami i gitu.Awwww~.Tapi i dah book dah date lawa nak kawen.11 december 2013 @ 11.12.13.So cane nih?Kene cari date lawa tahun ni nampaknya.Help me everibodi!!!

ps:Sape gatal sile tag diri sendiri.Jangan malu-malu
pps:Kak ina if ur reading this,sile jangan report kat mama.Pliz pliz pliz.
ppps:Now the title does make sense a bit.Sape dpt tangkap link maya karin dgn kawen tingy memang sah gatal cam i.

hai saya pimp.boleh berkenalan?

2009-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

got my cbox back!
dont be suprised with my last message.
dated way back in jan i guess.
beliau macam chipsmore.
sekejap ade sekejap tade.

ps:saya gemuk sebab saya bahagia.so?
pps:sape rasmi cbox baru saya belanje baskin robin.betol.tak tipu.gile pathetic woh.

of getting hitched and insanity

2009-06-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hey people.!

This is my 1678th attempt to update this blog.Betol.Tak tipu.I don't know why but I'm currently not in the mood to update my blog.Maybe sebab masa-masa terluang seharian dipenuhi dengan aktiviti makan-tido-makan-makan or bak kata solehah maybe sebab indah bercinta.pffft.Ayat last tidak ade kene mengena antara yang hidup dan mati.Dah bie dah.Tak payah nak buat ayat innocent dengan muka bimbo I don't know why whatsoever.Ngaku jelah malas.I don't know why *sekali lagi ayat i don't know why* but i think I don't have the urge to tell the whole world what I'm up to and what I've been doing anymore.Maybe the superstar in me is now somewhere in the Himalayas seeking nirvana.tsk.tsk.

And yes esok is the much awaited day.AYUH KEMBALI KE SEKOLAH UOLS!My cuti is finally over.Oh no scratch that.My three weeks short holiday is over.My cuti is the most retardest and spastic-est cuti on Earth.Start lambat and habis awal lalu menjadikan rancangan untuk belajar memasak tergendala lalu rancangan besar untuk demand hantaran tinggi juga terpaksa dilupakan*sigh*.

And i'm soooo looking forward to our trip to Bandung untuk menjadi jutawan dan menyopping baju raya.Sape muke tak malu nak souvenier sile msg.Ye apek dan abu saye tawu anda tak malu.Hahaha.And I might be going to Bali with the girls in December.But have to consider a few things first.My parents will be in Mecca at that time so macam tak eloh lah kan mak bapak beribadah anak meronggeng berpario bercanda di tepian pantai oh lala.And it would be my third vacation for tuoonain.Tapi dah tak leh blah berusaha untuk kurus sebab nak pakai two piece bikini dengan topi koboi macam Bunga Cinta Lestari dengan harapan Ashraf Sinclair tengok lalu ajak kahwin.Yes i have to admit this.Kawen tingy is always on my mind.I mean who doesn't kan?Eh ke memang orang tak pikir pasal kahwin?Ergh whatever.

Erk run outta idea on what to write already.So this is me,signing off.Adios.

nak jugak tempek gambar pose kiyut tak jadi neh.

ps:don't worry about the title.i think posting writing a random title is fun fun fun.It somehow brings out the mysterious me.Rotfl.

of barbies and ponytails..

2009-06-16T08:20:00.004-07:00

Are there any supplements or vitamins or drugs for women in pms?Cause I NEED IT SO BAD.I don't know what is wrong with me but i think my mood swing is getting nastier than ever.I know that all the sayangs who are close to me know that i'll be getting all crabby and macam sial when my time of the month is getting near but loves, i hate to treat u this way.Tau lah i pernah post pasal women are better than guys cause women boleh gune excuse she's pms-ing tapi gile tak boleh blah la kalau sampai mati nak gune alasan pms kan.Eh no scratch that.Mane boleh gune sampai mati sebab nanti ade menopause di mana dinding uterus tidak lagi meruntuh.Okay tahniah anda pandai!So untuk memandaikan lagi ayuh buat kire-kire.The average age of menopause is 45,so i have another 26 years to go.Which means I have 26*12=312 cycles to go.Tapi may be less than 312 sebab tolak pregnant ape sume.Lol.Tapi surelah ni akan ditop-up oleh all the tantrums cum peeves cum bugs during that 9 months of pregnancy kan?Dan juge craving yang gile tak sedar diri.Konklusinya,I need help in decelerating the pendulum.Tu je lah nak cakap.Dengan semangat explain one paragraph nak tunjuk rajin.

Oleh sebab tak cukup tunjuk rajin lagi ayuh menempek!

TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1.Pass My Shotgun
2.Psychotic Mood Shift
3.Pack My Stuff
4.Permanent Menstrual Syndrome
5.Perpetual Munching Spree
6.Puffy Mid-Section
7.People Make Me Sick
8.Provide Me with Sweets
9.Pardon My Sobbing
10.Pimples May Surface
11.Pass My Sweatpants
12.Pissy Mood Syndrome
13.Plainly Men Suck
14.Who Cares? I'm not in the mood to play this anymore!!

*this is sooooo me kan?*

ps:i had fun being the stupid me tadi.

pps:i wish someone will buy me that abaya.

coz im in love with a girl..

2009-06-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

hey sayangs~

Im back on the radar*woots*.it has been nearly a month kan?a marshmallow-y lumpy sweet month for me.how was yours?Im very contented and thankful for everything HE gives me.Alhamdulillah.I was quite busy preparing for my ACCA finals ~~padahal dalam bilik tido je~~ since i was too blind to realised that taking 3 papers is not an easy work for a lazybum like me.YA ALLAH,BIARLAH AZIRAH HASHIM PASS PAPERS DIE.AMIN.See, i know u guys sume berwibawa,suci murni,anggun lagi gojes sampai sanggup doakan i.Mak terharu nyah.LOL.Sila amalkan doa ini so that i can finish my ACCA in a single attempt and grad cepat and kerja cepat and kawen cepat and demand hantaran tinggi dengan cepat.Ngeh3.

So all the weh-banyaknye-jerawat-aku-sebab-stress-nak-exam days are over.To cik farhan*bukan name sebenar* u'll have to wait till dec to count my pimples.Hahahaha.Sebut pasal pimples teringat lawak nipple siti nurhaliza.Adoi,buat malu je.Ok off topic.

Guess what?Dalam masa sebulan ni i managed to berkayak , ice -skating,berikan bakaring di Klang,berpicnic di tasik Shah Alam,dan juge dengan ayu berpicnic di malam hari di padang depan Masjid Shah Alam twice.I'm missing every bit of these except for ice-skating.It was my first time and im proud to say that i nearly cried.Call me a wuss but ice-skating is not my thing ok.There i was with my Cyclops eye bergantung meminta belas berskate dua tiga langkah.Lol. Nevertheless, i managed to get a few friends semasa bergayut dan bergantung di tepi rink. Owh sape kate azirah hashim sombong? *oh apek,aku x gtaw ko aku pegi kayak sebab sure ko bising mcm mak minah sebab ko jeles sebab ko nak kayak dengan sol.wahahaha*

And oh im freaking proud to say im the no 1 fan of Slaughtersoul.I know,you probably think that im outta my mind already.But they are really great plus drummer cum guitarist die wangi.Hahaha.Hey syg so what if u r a metalhead?Do i look like i care?

Okdahmalasayuhtempekgambar.

perempuan retard bersame skate beliau

ko sure syg aku sebab upload gambar gembira kau.

bukti picnic depan masjid

beliau artis.*identiti dirahsiakan*

mencuba memicit jerawat dengan straw

ps:i dont feel like blogging anymore
pps:im still straight.no worries.

sorry TERemo!

2009-05-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

hey stalkers~ *ok perasan*

updates seemed soooo tinggi melangit out of reach coz my finals is selangkah(read:2weeks) away and im so busy 'absorbing' all the notes ok tipu!part absorb notes tu tipu!im getting lazier day by day.Im in desperate need of some catalyst or enzymes whatever u called it to get me to be my old rajin self.sekali lagi tipu!takde la rajin sangat.and my friend*a guy* said something like 'wey sape nk kawen ngn ko klo ko malas'.but guess what??tibe-tibe beliau mengonfess bahawa his owh-i-cant-let-u-go-u-are-so-perfect ex gf is lazier than me.so do the maths la.nampak sangat la ko nk kawen ngn aku kan pek?saje jual mahal.hahahahhaha. (note to him:ala baru bape bulan weh xley let go.chill lah.papehal aku jd consultant.)

and i went out with him for dinner just now.not the above him.another him.ok gatal!and I SWEAR NOT TO GO OUT WITH A GUY TO SOMEWHERE SHOWING A FOOTBALL MATCH!Gile neglected woh. Dah la mmg krg kasih syg.He preferred that gabak-oversized-screen over me?Ni i tgh hot lagi ni.What if dah anak 5 bontot besar lori?Sure anda will letak dat screen in front of me kan?Punyelah kate tak minat MU,kipas susah mati Chelsea tapi tengok cam die maen.Nasib baik it wasn't a Chelsea match.Kalau tak memang ade possiblities cik bie balik jalan kaki kan cik farhan? *bukan name sebenar*.But i had fun whenever im with u.Awwww~.Ok sile menggedik di tempat laen.

and i tink my mood swings are crazier than ever.i have the most ribut PMS ever known to mankind.and im late already.i mean it shud have been sumwhere around the 6th tp ni dah macam 10 days later yet still no signs of it coming.Tapi the big problem is,my PMS has a fixed date.I mean since my normal cycle is on the 6th,so my PMS usually started on the 1st.And since die sangat strict macam pakcik bus macan skolah rendah dulu it'll starts on the 1st no matter what.Im not making any sense am i?Whatever.Why am i explaining this eh?Watever sekali lagi.Bottomline,im ~~crankier~~ hormonal day by day thanks to my PMS.Tak pe,hormonal tu sexy kan?EHJVBJGKF!

and as im typing and backspacing on this post,my dear kakak comel texted me telling that it's over between her and him.this him is not the same as the other two hims above ok.i feel like cursing.FUCK!She loves him so freaking damn crazy pig much!How could he do this to her?Die lawa,baik,pandai.Ape lagi ko nak weh?Kau bagi hopes,janji macam-macam,tibe-tibe kau bagi excuse cakap she's the reason why kau tak ley concentrate ape sume.Die paham kan?Die back off kan?Die support kau no matter what.And malam ni kau buat lawak mintak die jadi consultant for u to get the other girl.Aku tak taw nak panggil kau ape weh.What goes around comes around weh.Sile jangan mensialkan kawan saya.Nasib baek i didnt have the chance to know him.(note to her:wey ingat what happened in vegas x?ingat tak the time dat gurl punched dat jerk who dumped her bestfriend's balls?siyesly i want to do that to him.bagi la izin weh!tak pe weh.apek still nak kau.aku taw.kan apek?walaupun sebenar dalam hati kau nak kawen ngn aku,kau tetap sayang sol kan?hahahaha)

ps:pardon me cursing and fucking.this is not normal me.
pps:sile doakan cycle saye back to normal.sekian.
ppps:happy teacher's day!tak.cikgu saye tak ajar mencarut.

tagged by abu

2009-05-09T05:58:00.002-07:00

saya tak suge tag ni.tapi sebab abu peminat setia kipas susah mati saye,saye korbankan.weh abu terharulah!hahahaha.

1)What are u doing right now?
= online window shopping.

2) Where is your cell phone?
= tepi nih.

3) How many blogger account do you have?
= only 1 blogger.hv 1 wordpress too.

4) What's your current relationship status?
= widower

5) Are you happy today?
= u bet i am!nothing beats 'berjemur di tengah padang'.lol

6) Who will cut and paste this first?
= abu la kot.

7) Someone with the same birthday as you?
= afnan kaberi.bf time kecik dulu.ehe

8) Are you mean?
= sure am.sometimes.

9) Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
= karaoke jamban dikirekah?

10) Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
= ramai.eh muke u macam fazura.eh u macam catriona ross.eh u macam cristina ricci.

11) Current song you're listening to?
= all that i've got-the used

12) Is your birthday on a holiday?
= nope

13) Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?
= never

LAST:
14) Person who texted you..
= kak ain bulat

15) Talk on the phone..
= paan sembelih

16) Hugged..
= yaza

17) Person you text messaged
= kak ain

18) Person you take pictures with
= ayah

19) You kissed
= sol

TONIGHT:
20) Where are you going?
= katil

21) With?
= abu raihan.hahahaha.x2.

22) What are you going to do there?
= tido la wey

TOMORROW:
23) What are your plans?
= the curve.paan sile get my hint.

24) Dislikes about tomorrow?
= i'll keep on sneezing like hell

25) Did last night?
= study law.eceh

CURRENTLY:
26) Thinking about someone?
= no

27) Missing someone?
= not someone.something.swedish meatball.

28) Current mood?
= craving swedish meatball

29) Longing for?
= bebola daging sweden

30) Are you listening to music?
= duh.

31) Had anyone sing or play music for you personally?
= yes.like always.haha.

32) Forgive anyone who did you wrong the previous day?
= depends.but mostly not on the next dat.maybe neeeeexxxtt day

33) What do people call you?
= bie*bu aku sero mmg jodoh kite dh.name dekat.rofl*

34) Has anyone ever told you they like you more than a friend?
= ade la jugak

35) Name one cute celebrity..
= azirah hashim.ok vain

36) Who do you like to spend your days with?
= tengok mood

37) Favorite ice-cream?
= pralines n cream.jom br weh.

38) Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
= yes

39) What's the weirdest thing you've heated up in the microwave?
= roti canai?taw.tak pelik pon.

40) Do you fall for people easily?
= yup.*gile yakin jawab*

41) Anything more you want to say?
= letih weh

42) Choose 5 person to answer this survey :
sy blogger tamak tidak suke mengetag orang.tapi memandangkan abu sangat tandus tag.tag die balik.weh abu aku tag mu nie!

girl power!!rawr~

2009-05-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

hey sayangs~
flickr.com

I've just joined the PROUD TO BE A WOMAN group in facebook.So since ~~i have nothing to do~~ im effing proud to be a woman,this is my attempt to list all the reasons why being a woman is so freaking euphoric and orgasmic.ehe.

1.boleh badmood dan sulky bile-bile mase.bile dah ok dengan muke innocent 'sorry lah.I PMS.'

2.boleh rase cane rase ditendang dari dalam.eleh laki setakat kena tendang dari luar dah kecoh. (oh the baby is kicking*pegang perot*)

3.tak payah tunggu duit cukup nak kahwin.

4.boleh cium pipi perempuan lain tanpa dicop bernafsu sonsang macam yang tomok and awal kene.

5.boleh makan banyak and cakap 'I makan banyak sebab period.Penat nak produce hemoglobin baru.Selalu makan sikit je'.Pffft

6.ade cuti khas tiap-tiap bulan.

7.cuti bersalin dua bulan dibayar gaji.

8.ade saying 'behind a man's success there's a woman'.nampak sangat lah guys are nothing without us kan.btw quote 'behind a woman's success there's a man' sangatlah bapok bunyinye.

9.boleh pakai baju kelawar*ni tiru from ili.ehe*

10.kalau kereta penuh dengan laki rosak tepi jalan,amek mase dalam 30 jam baru ade orang tolong.kalau perempuan je tak payah tunggu lame-lame.

11.boleh ponteng class and gune alasan 'Sorry mam,i period pain semalam'.

12.Boleh mintak MC senang-senang sebab period pain doc xley check.*gosh gile banyak advantanges bende ni*

13.mostly hantu perempuan.nampak sangat us women are more powerful than u guys.

14.ade ladies' nite.save duit.guys' nite tak wujud.

15.tak payah salam dengan tok kadi.hanya perlu bersimpuh ayu dan menangis bile dah sah jadi bini orang.wargh!

16.wonderwoman tak pakai spender kat luar macam superman.

17.

18.

19.

20.

sile penuhkan kerana saya perlu ke kelas.wahahahaha.tak ni bukan cover line sebab takde idea.betol.

ps:been id check-ed when watching 'coming soon'.oh bangge!nampak sangat mak awet mude nyah~

rants~

2009-04-24T10:31:00.001-07:00

I'm not feeling 'oh-bie-memang-hebat' now.Why?Cause i've just noticed that on the scale of 1 to 10,my understanding and grasp on F5 Performance Management is -3.And my anxiety leads to a super craving of megi kari telor tapi telor kuning tak masak sangat.Syok wohh!Tapi mane nak cari telur tengah-tengah malam ni.Ade lah sorang perwira dalam baju besi ni yang nak masakkan tapi sure lah dah tak dapat nak bagi coz pak guard uitm sure jeles dengan baju besi beliau.Atau mungkin pak guard itu membuat konklusi sendiri cik perwira mahu menghantar telurnya kepada saya.Hahahahaha.Kawan-kawan sedar tak itu satu lawak lucah? *perlukah tanye weh?!*

Back to pasal malas belajar.I texted a few of my friends saying how darn afraid i am of the coming exam.Takot je la lebih,bukan nak start belajar betol-betol pon.Typical ~~melayu~~ bie la tuh.Most of them said tak pe,solat hajat banyak-banyak,mintak dengan Allah.Ok maybe betol.Tapi aku tak leh aplikasi konsep ni lagi lah!Sebab aku tak berusaha lagi.Korang dah salah konsep tawakal ni weyh!We are supposed to put our heart basket*gile translate doe* in everything we do plus mintak doa.Ni doa je susah la wey.Ok sekian tazkirah pagi dari *coughs*ustazah azirah.

Whatever it is,i know that my life will be great-one way or another.And i know yours will be great too.If life gives u lemon,just make lemon cheesecake la dey.

ps:dah craving cheesecake pulak.pregnant nanti mati lah laki aku.

BEWARE:MIXED FEELINGS ENTRY

2009-04-21T11:30:00.001-07:00

hello loves!

have i mentioned that i love myself so much that i want to kiss smooch smooch chuphs muahs me own self?my life definitely could get better.but hey i am loving every nanoseconds of me being azirah hashim to bits.ok sorry vain.pffft.

nothing much happened though.except for my daily routine of sleeping at 5a.m,~~missed subuh kadang-kadang~~,study 5mins then TERdozed off.Seriously i need to work my arse harder if i want to finish my ACCA by next year.but don't u think that world would be a better place to live in if ALL EXAMS ARE DEMOLISHED.Best kan?Dah boleh buat tagline pon ade.Konon lah alien tanya 'where are u from?'.Answer:'I'm from Earth,WHERE ALL THE EXAMS ARE DEMOLISHED.'Super coolness bukan.Ok please put my foot in my mouth to stop me from keeping on blabbering and buat lawak tak berapa pandai.

i texted my mom.'Mama,tlg doakan bie biar rajin sikit.'Being the supermom she is,cepat je reply.Ayuh teka apa mama saya reply?No no sume salah*perasan ada orang tengah teka*.This is what i got.

'Braso malas ko loni?InsyaAllah.Selama ni mama doakan kejayaan, jadi anak yang soleh, lembut tutur kata, lembut budi bahasa, hormati orang tak kira pangkat. Bab nak suroh rajin ni kena tambah malam ni.'*ayt ini tidak mengalami proses pengubahsuaian*

Mama,i know i am not the perfect daughter that u wish u have.But thanks for everything.Thanks mama.Thanks ayah.Mama carry bie for 9months,mama deliver bie,mama jaga bie,breastfeed bie,ayah beli dress lawa,ayah mandikan and dressed me up for school every freaking morning,nasihat bie tapi bie tak dengar and millions of other things that u've done to and for me.What am i thinking to list it all?Infinity tu.I'll try to be the daughter that u longed to have.I promise ma,ayah.For every single thing i've done,IM SORRY.I know u and ayah will be prouder if bie tak sombong and keras hati sangat kan?I'll try mama.I'll try ayah.Im sorry u have to put up with this azirah hashim for the past 19 years.

ps:Owh shit im crying.dah.tadi lawak bodoh sangat.ni kang dah nangis.padan muka kau!I should be studying.I know.chownaknangesjapthensambungstudybai.

pps:alhamdulillah sedar kan?sedar time mama and ayah dah tak de ape nak buat?nanges air mata darah pon tak guna.nauzubillah.

NEW ME..

2009-04-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

I've just realised that most of my posts are bitter and cynical.And that reflects one thing,me AZIRAH HASHIM IS A VERY BITTER PERSON!Bitter,pessimistic,sulky Azirah.And yes i hate myself for that.

For all this while i only looked at the downsides of life.Only enjoying my 'on-top-of-the-world' moments once in a while,not appreciating my sweet life,and complaining and complaining and complaining.Why me?Why is she better than me?Why this and why that.

From now on,i'll live my live positively.Viewing the world,the life and my own self from another perspective.Treating others nicer,being grateful for every single things i have and sip all the bliss and pleasure of life while i can.Maybe i was blind for this 19 years,but hey it is still not too late to change and i know this change will make me a better person.And i need it so bad.

So hello to the new ME!

ps:im enjoying my life now.cheers to a wonderful beginning and the great journey ahead.

hush little girl

2009-03-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

credit to www.flikcr.com

hush

don't u cry

shed away the tears

get rid of the sorrow inside

thump it,shed it,dash it

to tiny minuscule pieces

don't let it lingers on someone else

hush

don't u cry

shiny tomorrows await

the sun will be smiling from up above

stroking u with the smoothest yet uplifting vibes

the stars will be your guardians throught the deepest pits

the waves will crush all your sadness away from the shore of your life

and the rain will waters your barren paths

hush

don't u cry

rise up

feels the ever so fresh dewdrops

spreads the joy as the dandelions fly away

explore the creeks of chances

delve into the meadows of hope

where the fairies will wrap u with tenderness

so hush little girl

shed away the tears

ps:i think ~~sadness~~ disturbance brings out the writing mojo in me.pffft*sile benarkan org sedih nak perasan*

my body is a wonderland...

2009-03-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Cik bie went to dorothy perkins
dah nampak dh ade budak ni tengah maen nyorok dengan akak die.
akak die pon xde la akak sangat.
budak 2 orang ni umur lebih kurang je
dalam 4 5 tahun.
frust jugak dlm hati.
dulu cik bie maen nyorok celah tiang.
tu pon xjd nyorok sebab cik bie sehat,tiang slim *isk*
tapi mereka?
maen nyorok celah jeans.
argh persetankan semua itu.
cik bie melihat jeans yang chomel
terase mau menery (men+try=menery)
masuk la cik bie dlm fitting room
tp fitting room die xde pintu
hanya curtain sebagai pengganti diri pintu
maka tidak layaklah dipanggil sebagai room
fitting cubicle eloklah juga
cik bie menyarung jeans itu
setelah menery,membelek,menyapu,membelai
setelah memusing depan,kiri,kanan
setelah puas terasa diri sangat gojes
cik bie menanggalkan jeans itu
*SREEEET*
!@#%& budak ni(suara latar:budak 2 ekor gelak2)

ps:cik bie tidak akn mendedahkan ape sebenarnye yang berlaku selepas bunyi tersebut
pps:ini bukan entri lucah.

why now?damn!

2009-03-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

i miss u.

shit.

this is crappy!

before this i would give anything to forget u

just to get rid all of our tangled memories

i needed the strength to resist u

i needed the power to say NO for once and all

i needed to say 'u are with her now.please stop giving me hopes.go away'

but now,

after much hardworks and tears,

i'm dying to see u.

yes im a stupid little person who's still in love with you.

so little that u can barely see me.

the unexpected..

2009-03-14T05:08:00.001-07:00

when i was in form five,i did not have any interest in accounting.except maybe for guy from the accounting class who was my bf back then*but he turned out to be dat 'hello-get-away-from-my-gurl' jerk*.honestly,i looked down on the accounting students because they did not have to memorize all the valves,the processes and the 'konon cool' terms of biology.basically,they were confirmed to get an A for accounting.

but look at me now.the girl who once looked down on accounting students and the accounting itself is now loving every bit of her moments studying ACCA.yes,there were times when i thought that MARA wasn't being fair to me,they failed to see my potential.but i determined to make them see that i can shine in everything.i was always being told that i don't have anything to worry and that did made me a little big-headed and ignorant.but that MARA interview was a wake-up call where i found that the easy ride had ended.

i cried myself almost everynight,blaming myself for everything,envying my friends.i don't know why i was so filled with loathe.i applied for TESL in that MARA interview but i was offered to do ACCA locally.i knew that i can't teach*thanks to my temper*.i applied for TESL because of my passion in English.and all the other courses offered were not to my liking.there were a few of my friends who went 'oh,i thought u wud be on the first plane out of malaysia' yada yada yada.but no mate.im stuck in malaysia.

i chucked my teachers.Miss Eisha and Miss Intan.they have been supporting me since i was in lipis but i decided to get away from them because for me, i failed to fulfiled their expectations.shallow sangat kan.?they were always there when i needed someone.a definite shoulder to carry on.they taught me how to fly and soar the limitless sky.they didn't looked at me in disgust like everyone else were back then in lipis.if it weren't because of them,i'm sure i couldn't survived my years in lipis.

TO MISS EISHA AND MISS INTAN IF U ARE READING:

Thanks for bringing out the best in me,for seeing my little potential and believing in me.

but now everything is perfect.almost perfect at least.doing ACCA is not bad at all.im enjoying it so much.accounting is not that easy.i wonder what would happened to me if im still stuck in the misery that drowned me away from reality.a few days ago,i met a lecturer who taught me last sem.she said 'from the very first class,i knew that u'll do great'.im grateful for everything.syukur alhamdulillah.HE knows what is the best for me.and for all this while,i was blind.and now,im among one of the high achievers.and i'll be forever grateful to all the people i met along the way.thank you so very much.

ps:im not going to the dinner to receive the award.kami otai tak join dinner noobs.aha.

to u..

2009-03-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

I need your grace,

To remind me,

To find my own.

Thanks for the sweet words.It means a lot.U know who u are.Million million thanks.

ps:u still owe me tho

im officially in love..

2009-03-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

ps:die comel bukan?hahahaaha

fly me to my intan bunny..

2009-03-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or the world is getting more miserable?really miserable.feels like my brain is swelling and my eyes are going to pop out from its socket anytime soon.missed a lot of classes.doesnt matter anyway coz there's no difference.im supposed to be studying.but i cant.there's is only one thing in my mind.

PERTH

Bought the ticket,booked the apartment.hv to settle the passport and visa then off we go.hopefully there wudn't be any probs wit my visa.for now,i'll just have to wait.

owh,im tinking of quitting my mandarin class.the reason?so dat i can go to perth wit happy heart.lol.sangat shallow kan?watever.actually there's a prob wit me and the lecturer.she's bias.sangat.benci.dot.

to make me feel better,i asked my bf to serenade me.he's NICK PITERA.who else?hate him,love him.I HEART HIM!he's super amazing.wish i have a voice like him.He's a magic.Like he has a button to switch his voice.Bet he'll be a great she-male kan.hahaha

ps:tried to upload his vid,but it took ages.

lovebirdstweet tweet

2009-03-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

satu tengah gayut,
dua tengah gayut,
tiga tengah gayut,
empat?tengah blogging.
*dalam nada cite hantu yang hot tu*

ok.crap.mengarot.satu,dua,tiga=my roomies.empat?who else?

satu
dah almost 4years being together.sangat cinta mati bak ayat-ayat cinta.they're engaged i think.not so sure.tapi their 'ayang,sayang' is a bit annoying.this girl gayut while staring at her laptop's wallpaper wic is the pic of both of them.owh sangat sweeet~bluerk.can u imagine?ayang sayang sayang.or is it ayang sayang ayang?tah.lack of oxygen sikit tonite.a bit confused.like there are lotssss of other calls of affection kan?honeybear,sugarbun,munchkin,bla3.tak pon next time suro je parents panggil bie since kecik so dat time couple ley je panggil bie*ahaks* senang cite.satu sekarang tengah on the phone wit her 'laki'.guess where is her fav spot apart from depan laptop.yup,u got it right!atas rak kasut.LOL.*ade ke org laen gayut dduk ats rak kasut?*.Sape nak celen beliau,silelah apply.

dua
dah lame jgk i lap u,u lap me.tp maybe skrg status dey all 'hanging'.aha.memang salute toink toink la dis gurl.gaduh everynite kot.tp still melekat.jodoh panjang kot.tapi sekali gaduh.fuh,satu kolej dengar.sayang sume all gone.instead cacian makian jadi hamburan.tp tu la,maybe dey all berpegang dengan prinsip 'sayang dimaki-maki'.who knows.

tiga
bru 5days couple.love is freshly in the air.propose flower pun still xlayu lagi.sangat sweet jugak.gayut dalam comforter with suare kepit sampai sume orang tak dengar.twirling the flower,cium cium banyak kali.this is the most accurate example of young love.topic perbualan:u ni suke sangat buli i.i merajok ni.GAG!the bf sanggup drive all the way from melaka just to meet her.talk bout cinta buta kn.

empat
still waiting for her love.and she'll keep waiting and waiting and waiting*sigh*

ps:entri ini tidak berbaur kejelesan.

.....

2009-02-24T04:30:00.000-08:00

have u ever feel like ur stupid?no no.stupid is not right.ever felt that u are a dazed moron with a pea-sized brain?that's what im feeling right now.the fact that i have so much to do in soooooo little time is killing me.my brain cells are rebelling.wanting to break free.my head is pounding.the pain is unbearable.my brain is saying that it doesn't belong to me.smashing its way out from me.it wants to run away,far away across the meadows,the lakes and the oceans from this digusting body.while my body just wants to lie down on the morning grass,staring at the blue blue sky,taking its own sweet time to heal.they both don't have the same beat.my soul is ripped between those two.

ps:yes im depressed

semi concious..

2009-02-22T22:38:00.000-08:00

not in the mood to blog currently.my laptop crashed,my phone's mmc is corrupted.god,y all this happened at the same time?timing bijak punya.tapi my fingers urging me to type type type type.lots had happened but not so much to say.maybe coz im not getting enuff sleep.or maybe im having glucose attack *ade ke?* after bedal-ing mira's choc n orep cheese cake.owh hi calories!why do u have to be finger-licking good?i love u so much like bella love edward.tho edward is a harm to her.crap.ignore me.

owh yea.im a love doc now.coaching my fren *he-who-shall-not-be-named* to get up from his mind jabbing-heart ripping-break up.it's not goin to be easy,for sure.tapi it's ok.bie kan baek lagi hebat.been thru worst.so i know i can handle this.

ps:i need to lose weight.pronto!

alhamdulillah.

2009-02-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

passed all my papers!alhamdulilah.and the marks?sangat unexpected.i didnt expect to pass.let alone to score all the papers.wonder where all the marks come from.tak logic.nevertheless,im very grateful to HIM.dah sujud syukur dah.tp im goin to take this as a test from him.kan ade ayt al-Quran or hadis yang sebut pasal rezeki tu pun satu ujian dari DIA.Insyaallah im not gonna go astray.

tanx to all who have prayed for me.luqman,i know u did.tanx.sangat-sangat.mama,ayah thank you for having faith in me.fuad,luiz zul & akem thank you for making me feel btter when i chickened out to chck the rsult.sayang kamu~.nnt claim the belanjas kayh babe.

minggu gila...minggu bodoh

2009-02-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

eleh kecoh.baru ari selasa dah nak cakap the whole week gila lagi bodoh.tapi memang bodoh pon.bile nak kahwin nie?kalau dah kawen boley la ngadu kat husbandku yang sure hensem lagi macho.blergh~.dapat mat bangla bulu-bulu bru tawu.ahaha.

minggu ni bodoh dan gila.sebab?tak de duit!!!!boley je nak mintak ngn mama ayah.tapi tak best la coz dah lame tak mintak ngn diorang.cam orang dah lame keje tapi tibe2 mntk duit lak.cam sireh pulang ke ganggang lak.eceh.so bile dah xde duit sume nafsu terbantut.konklusinye,mood sume tak betol.konon dah takde sesi retail therapy.padahal boley je nak therapy bende laen.nak gak therapy yang xde pekdah dan buang duit nie.

minggu ni bodoh n gila.sebab?sume bnde aku wat dlm class kantoi.

situasi 1:dalam kelas tax.aku berjalan konon bergaye masuk kelas.dah la lambat setengah jam.tapi tak pe.kate pelajar cemerlang.di mane ade kemahuan di situ ade jalan.lambat pon masuk kelas gak.datin afizah hashim menjeling kakiku*nak gak cakap name lbey krg ngn lectrer*.lawa sangat ke jeans ni?tibe-tibe datin berkate 'eh u all boley pakai selipar jepun eh datang kelas?'.adus datin.i dah pakai selipar jepun dr dulu kot.nape la tibe-tibe nak tego.orang laen sume pakai selipar gak kot.well datin,this is not selipar jepun.this is flip flop.mahal kot.10hinggit beli kat ole-ole shalam.tak penah jejak jepun pon selipar ni.sangat malu daku.blushing sampai rambut.ala-ala redhead g2.awwww~.

situasi 2:dalam kelas law yang hening.hening sebab ape?sebab sume orang tersenguk-senguk.melainkan 3 ekor setan comel bername bie,izzad,sol.izzad selaku ketua setan di sini.ajak orang ngumpat.atau dalam bahasa ilmiah 'people study'.dengan kurang bersopan conteng-conteng meja.klau org nmpk sure dah tak nak wt aku bini.tp takpe aku rela jd setan than menahan kebosanan class law tuh.tibe2 'awk kat tgh tu,try jawab psl case ni'.gile mak*bace cam gelimat*.ape nak jwb?mak bapak anta belajar aku dtg borak.tp nak wat cmne bosan sgt.dgn muka comel i menaram ape yg ade dlm otak.abes kuar sect 16(3),sect 10.sungguh hebat penaraman itu.sekali kne 'awk kne focus dlm class.sy dah try nk tlg u all' atau dlm bahasa kasarnye mengikut garapan aku 'u nk belajar x?u tak nak belajar u blah la'.adus.dah la ketua setan terketar-ketar di sebelah.bukan sebab epilepsi.tapi sebab menahan gelak.macam _____*insert foul words here*.buat cik habsah,ape kate wat clss menarik sikit.bosan arh ngn contoh same je.dah la subjek law.lagi kronik dr sejarah kot.nota minda:dlm class law jgn borak.tido tak pe.

situasi 3:dalam clss bell.fyi,bell ni clss critical thinking.cam english je.tapi lil bit harder.tibe2 rase rajin membuak-buak dlm clss ni.tp rajin ape cube teka?rajin nak wat tax.bkn wat pon.rajin nk copy kerja tax yg tak siap.walawey~.tibe2 'u,an example on the board'.adus mati kawe.orang laen tido tak kene lak.aku yang extra rajin ni kene.unfair!diskriminasi!dah la last clss tak dtg.ape nak jwb.nasib baek abg aiman kacak ade di tepi.mengtransfer aura-aura beliau.boley gak jeling-jeling.tapi persetankn itu sume.bie hebat.mane maen tiru-tiru.sekali lg penaraman berlaku.konklusinye,penaraman itu agk berjaya walaupun sedikit terbalik.

minggu ni bodoh n gila.sebab?rase malas bergelora dalam hati.nak mandi pon malas.dari kol 8 berkire-kire nak mandi.kol 10 baru berjaya mandi.tu pon after dilecture dengan padat oleh roomates.juga penceramah jemputan cik fuad deen dr utp.notes law tak pernah salin.kerja tax tak pernah siap.dalam class tax,duduk memang gaye plajar cemerlang depan lecturer.tapi haram tak paham.siap boleh tido nyenyak.yes,bie mmg hebat.esok mini test costing.study tak?betol la tuh jawapan die.TAK!NADA!YILEK!dah name mini test kan.tak payah la study.mane la boleh lawan mini test dengan malas tahap gaban.penaraman bakal berlaku lagi esok.itu aku yakin.

minggu ni bodoh n gila.sebab?aku positif aku dah sakit otak.

ps:counting down the days...1 year being a singleto is not bad at all..

dunia dah berubah..sigh

2009-02-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

DULU
weekend?dulu suke sangat tunggu weekend.awal2 minggu monday blues sangat hebat.klo boleh class sume nak tuang.dalam otak pkir bape hari nak smpai weekend.menghitung hari orang kate.khamis dh start calling2 roger orang ajak kuar.plan sume mau perfect.sampai jumaat rase tak nak masuk kelas gak.kenape?coz ari ni dah jumaat.dalam paleotak tengah pikir esok dah weekend.jumaat malam sabtu?tido awal kalah nak exam sebab esok nak kuar.perlu stamina bak kate orang.pagi sabtu?bangun senang gile.kalau bngun nak g kelas camni kan dah lame dapat prize winner.ni tak.nak kuar punye pasal sume jadi mudah.bukan sebab kerjasama bak kate wonderpets.'bile nak kuar sume jadi mudah'.dah kuar sume bnde nak beli.tapi beli bnde ikot nafsu.beli barang kehendak.bukan keperluan.last2 barang keperluan tak beli-beli.selipar jepun pon sanggup pinjam.selipar jepun tak beli tak pe.tapi baju nampak,berknan terus rembat.pelik care otak ni berpikir.pelik jugak care tangan ni bertindakan refleks kuar duit.maen hulur je.tapi selipar jepun tak sampai 3ya berkire nak beli.padahal murah je.

..........................................................................................................................................................................
SEKARANG
weekend?tnggu jugak.tapi bukan sebab nak kuar.sebab nak balik kajang.kenape?sebab kat kajang ade my sugarmommy cum pengecop duit tak bertauliah.die tukang bg duit,die tukang cari gadoh.tapi tak pe.rela gadoh ngn die.sebab dapat makan bes.dapat duit lagi.time shopping boleh tumpang sekaki.sekarang tangan dah tak cam gile hulur duit.sekarang otak baru nyesal tak beli selipar jepun awal-awal.sekarang tengok baju sambil telan air liur.dulu balik kajang sebab nak maen ngan anak buah.sekarang balik kajang ade hidden agenda.nak save duit tak payah beli makanan time weekend.sekarang kene masak dinner pon tak pe.kene kemas dapor pon xpe.sekarang kawan ajak kuar weekend rase nak nyorok.kan bes jadi tortoise.ley nyorok jap dlm shell.konon orang tak nampak.biar body besar gabak.sekarang rase nak tak de weekend dalam kamus hidop manusia sejagat.kenape?

SEBAB

DUIT

MARA

TAK

MASUK!!!!!

ps:pliz cik mara,stop torturing us.nak duit~

my own twilight saga...

2009-01-24T21:43:00.000-08:00

why am i still holding on to him?

still xley let go..

bukan sebulan bukan setahun..

years after years...

every month waiting for his call..

kadang-kadang rase sesak,pedih,sakit..

tapi hati ni cepat sejuk untuk die..

untuk die je..

orang laen no way..

kadang-kadang rase nyampah,marah,sakit ati tengok die,

tapi tak pe coz konon he's my edward..

konon je la..

no edward-like qualities pon.

fly me to the tree-top,fight the tracker for me,sing a lullaby for me?

jangan harap.

but he is still my edward..

and im still his bella wannabe..

munafik?

2009-01-17T02:17:00.000-08:00

i had this conversation with my senior.it was a joke actually.not the real serious talk pon.tapi after this conversation it semmed that in not on the right track of life.am i?

'kenape orang kaya selalu anak sikit?kenapa orang susah selalu anak ramai?'
'sebab orang susah tu dapat lagi banyak rezeki than orang kaya tu'
'tapi bukan ke kalau anak ramai tu cam menyusahkan?cause banyak bende nak beli yada3'
'tu view orang yang tak beriman dan tak de takwa.akak bukan cakap bie cam tu.'

subhanallah.am i?memang la die cakap bukan cakap i cam tu.tapi it's obvious la kan.never thot of that this way.she said that anak is anugerah Allah.yes i know that.and giving away the anak to someone else is a sin coz the father neglected his responsibility to take care of the child.memang la.tapi bukan ke die gave anak die to someone else for the sake of the child jugak.like he wants the best for she/he.dats my view for all this while.like if da hidop merempat,nak makan pakai tak cukup,it's better to give the child to someone who's capable to look after him kan than watching he lived his life dengan kedaifan and belajar tak habis,makan tak cukup.i didnt know that wanting the best for your child is a sin.it's better la to give away the child dari budak tu kene jadi pengemis and so on.

ps:forgive me if im wrong.lead me if im astray.mungkin aku jahil.mungkin aku pendek akal.but i dont think dats the way to educate kami yang jahil.

rapikan sulung 2009...

2009-01-10T05:26:00.000-08:00

it's 10th jan and this is my first post for 2009.it's my second actually tapi dah bangang sangat set time zone xbetol so jadi la my post on 31st dec tu on 30th dec yada3.sudah lame tidak memblog.why?coz i've been extremely very ultra busy for this new sem.argh.3 subjects with 21 contact hours.campur 4 hours of internal course.campur mandarin classes every monday and wednesday lagi.owh bila mase daku mau berdansa di awan biru?mau menyanyi same burung?and we are not talking bout my long-hours-tido-mati,mengumpat mencari info,berjalan-jalan bersame skandals yet.i dont have time even for myself.yet alone to update this blog.so all my stalkers(like i have one),u need to find another method to know wat im up to okeh.lol.

guess im officially a wonderwoman now.pffft.

not a very happy new year..

2008-12-31T12:00:00.000-08:00

i was planning to have a very happy new year celebration with my friends.nothing much pon sebenarnya.slumber party at pise's.makan-makan,gossip,reminicse the old days.well i did enjoyed it.tibe-tibe ade call from an unknown number.owh sapekah ini?i dont have any idea.

bie:hello,sape nie?
jerk:aku #%^&(namenya dirahsiakan)
bie:owh hi..*dats weird cz he never bahasekan diri as 'aku' before this*
jerk:aku nak ko jangan cari *&^^% lagi!!!!
bie:wtf?do u tink i dunt have anyting to do?buat ape nak cari die?
jerk:ko igt tu jangan cari die lagi..
bie:mane dapat cite nie??
jerk:argh tu tak penting coz aku ade ramai sources.
bie:and u believed all those shits la?*letak fon*

euw,whats wrong with u?do u think this whole world revolves around u?big news babe,they dont!nape la aku nak bazir mase cari awek ko tu.?????banyak lagi bende laen aku boley buat..aku cari pon nak buat ape??nak simbah asid?nak tumbuk?say that im sorry?for what?coz of u guys are so in love?ya allah,this is 2009 dah.bukan 1975.otak pakai la.duh..sangat bodoh la anda.kalau ko nak suro aku stop cari ko ley gak aku accept.ni awek ko?wey ingat aku samseng ke ape?yes,i admit it im the type who cant let go of someone easily.tapi takde la sampai nak cari gf ko.shallow gile kot.ask my frens,dey all know pasal sape yang aku selalu cakap.boleh lak ko tak nak kecoh-kecoh pasal ni.adus~yang ko serang aku tu tak kecoh ke?aku patot kecoh coz i wanna know sape yang cam @$%^ buat mulut tu.

yang tak leh blah boley lagi text aku cakap ko bahagie with her.why?u think that i'll cry my heart out,cut my wrist,terjun lombong?aha.harapan la.dah ko bahagia sangat,buat ape nak kisah pasal orang laen lagi.u wudnt care what other people said kan.dunia ni milik ko ngn die je.kate cinta mati.tapi baru dengar rumors sikit dah nak serang-serang orang?immature sangat la.fikirlah sikit weyh.couple 10years pon boley break okeh.kita muda lagi.broaden up ur horizon,pandang jauh-jauh.ko mesti rase hebat kan cz aku tak reply msg ko?well,i dun wanna waste my time gadoh with a dickhead like u!aku sambung gadoh pon ape aku dapat?puas ati jap je.tapi it doesnt lasts long pon.so it's better for me to stay silent and let the truth speaks for me.senang cite.

ps:apik said that ur cacat..

pps:im wishing u all the best jugak*muka ikhlas gile*

hijrah?

2008-12-28T17:36:00.000-08:00

it's 1 muharam.and yes it's still raining since..i dunno.it seems like ages since i met mr sunshine.adus.di mane kamu?silela keluar.rain makes me gloomy and sleepy.ehe.it's 8 a.m btw.im wide awake at 8 a.m??whoa.a real serious hijrah going on here.let see tomorrow cane.ahah.i havent bought the tic back to kl yet.tibe-tibe rase sume tic da abes lak.i've checked mas,air asia,and fireflyz sume dah mahal.mama said bus mmg abes kot.damn.tak payah balek la camni.

i went out with pise semalam.ya allah,jam amat.rase cam still kat kl lak.in fact traffic jam kat kb lagi teruk kot than kl.the rain doesnt make things better.dah la bawak manual.adus.saket kaki ni tekan clutch.actually orang laen ok je kot tapi since saya amat pendek so terpaksa memanjangkan kaki untuk tekan clucth.*grins*

i've been thinking to set a new year resolution.tapi since i knw myself well(read:i'll probably frgt bout the resolution by february)so tak payah la.there are a few things i wanna change tho,tapi biarlah rahsia bak kate siti.tak dapat buat kang malu.aha.

it's weird kan how those people yang belajar oversea rase beliau lagi hebat than us yang stuck kat malaysia bumi tercinta ni.memang la cik hebat dapat scholar and all.tapi xde bezanya dengan kami yang belajar di malaysia.yang membezakan hanyalah tempat.saya juga mendapat scholar,cuma tidak dicampak ke luar negara je.kerana ape?kerana HE knows what's best for me.So sape-sape yang belajar oversea tu janganlah sombong lagi bongkak coz bile-bile mase je Allah boleh tarik nikmat tu.Tak payah lah nak rase diri hebat sangat kayh.Kite serupa di sisiNya.chewahh~

ps:my baby bro called me 'wat kind of hndbag do u hv in mind?'.from india,just to ask dat?adus.dik,kakak di sini sangat terharu..ish