MATAHARIKU

My parents are leaving for Mecca to perform their Haj next Tuesday. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Grateful I am. But I have to admit that I'm feeling a bit anxious. This will be the fourth time for ayah and the second time for mama. Biarlah ayah saya bawak motor Honda 50cc tak bawak Jaguar pon yang penting investment akhirat cukup. And why am i afraid? No. Bukan sebab dah tak dapat tidur bawah ketiak mama and dah tak dapat 'hello,ayah nak duit' for a month. Takut dengan segala dugaan dan cabaran yang bakal dihadapi both of them. Dengan segala ragam manusia dari seluruh pelusuk dunia. Semoga mereka sabar menghadapi segala ujian dari Nya.

My dad is already 70 and that is an extra point why am I afraid. He once said 'If ayoh xdop di Mekoh ayoh redha'. And i jokingly said 'Ish kalu nak xdop pon tunggu la tengok cucu dari bie. Haha'. But deep inside I'm bawling despite my lame joke and my happy face which I tried to put on. Me and ayah,the family resemblances are there. Mama always said that I'm the mini version of ayah. Even all the mak ciks and relatives said 'Serupo dengan ayah die'. Let it be due to our fairness,laziness,our obsession to think bout others sampai sakit kepala,our romantic-ness, I am very much flattered and so very thankful to be his daughter. We didn't get along very well when i was 13-15 years old. Estrogen kicked in,konon dah besar,matang lagi dewasa. And yes I'm regretting every single minutes of it. If only I could turn back time and undo it. Tapi bak kata Miasara dalam Papadom 'MUNGKIN hanya lahir dari hati orang yang tak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada di depan mata'. So I'm living the moment,no turning back to my foolish days and trying to make up for all the things I've done or said.

A few days before Raya,I cried watching iklan Raya. Call me gay I don't care. Mungkin abu raihan menangis tengok iklan Pieere Andre sebab die tak confirm dapat balik Raya tak but I cried watching the Petronas ad. At least I think it's from Petronas. Ala yang 'nanti kakak besar,kakak dengan adik makan sini. Ayah makan kat sana.' Sape rajin cari lah. Sape malas tunggu Raya next year tengok ok. The gist is so obvious. How can't we look after the guy who have been looking after us all our life. How am I afraid that I would turn to be that Malin Kundang.Ya Allah please give me the guidance so that I won't go astray.

Guys,please pray that my parents will have a safe journey and dikurniakan haji mabrur.Amin.




ps:ayah,i love you*teary eyes*
pps:im feeling completely drained both mentally and physically.
ppps:go go tengok papadom.