not a very happy new year..

i was planning to have a very happy new year celebration with my friends.nothing much pon sebenarnya.slumber party at pise's.makan-makan,gossip,reminicse the old days.well i did enjoyed it.tibe-tibe ade call from an unknown number.owh sapekah ini?i dont have any idea.

bie:hello,sape nie?
jerk:aku #%^&(namenya dirahsiakan)
bie:owh hi..*dats weird cz he never bahasekan diri as 'aku' before this*
jerk:aku nak ko jangan cari *&^^% lagi!!!!
bie:wtf?do u tink i dunt have anyting to do?buat ape nak cari die?
jerk:ko igt tu jangan cari die lagi..
bie:mane dapat cite nie??
jerk:argh tu tak penting coz aku ade ramai sources.
bie:and u believed all those shits la?*letak fon*

euw,whats wrong with u?do u think this whole world revolves around u?big news babe,they dont!nape la aku nak bazir mase cari awek ko tu.?????banyak lagi bende laen aku boley buat..aku cari pon nak buat ape??nak simbah asid?nak tumbuk?say that im sorry?for what?coz of u guys are so in love?ya allah,this is 2009 dah.bukan 1975.otak pakai la.duh..sangat bodoh la anda.kalau ko nak suro aku stop cari ko ley gak aku accept.ni awek ko?wey ingat aku samseng ke ape?yes,i admit it im the type who cant let go of someone easily.tapi takde la sampai nak cari gf ko.shallow gile kot.ask my frens,dey all know pasal sape yang aku selalu cakap.boleh lak ko tak nak kecoh-kecoh pasal ni.adus~yang ko serang aku tu tak kecoh ke?aku patot kecoh coz i wanna know sape yang cam @$%^ buat mulut tu.

yang tak leh blah boley lagi text aku cakap ko bahagie with her.why?u think that i'll cry my heart out,cut my wrist,terjun lombong?aha.harapan la.dah ko bahagia sangat,buat ape nak kisah pasal orang laen lagi.u wudnt care what other people said kan.dunia ni milik ko ngn die je.kate cinta mati.tapi baru dengar rumors sikit dah nak serang-serang orang?immature sangat la.fikirlah sikit weyh.couple 10years pon boley break okeh.kita muda lagi.broaden up ur horizon,pandang jauh-jauh.ko mesti rase hebat kan cz aku tak reply msg ko?well,i dun wanna waste my time gadoh with a dickhead like u!aku sambung gadoh pon ape aku dapat?puas ati jap je.tapi it doesnt lasts long pon.so it's better for me to stay silent and let the truth speaks for me.senang cite.

ps:apik said that ur cacat..

pps:im wishing u all the best jugak*muka ikhlas gile*

hijrah?

it's 1 muharam.and yes it's still raining since..i dunno.it seems like ages since i met mr sunshine.adus.di mane kamu?silela keluar.rain makes me gloomy and sleepy.ehe.it's 8 a.m btw.im wide awake at 8 a.m??whoa.a real serious hijrah going on here.let see tomorrow cane.ahah.i havent bought the tic back to kl yet.tibe-tibe rase sume tic da abes lak.i've checked mas,air asia,and fireflyz sume dah mahal.mama said bus mmg abes kot.damn.tak payah balek la camni.

i went out with pise semalam.ya allah,jam amat.rase cam still kat kl lak.in fact traffic jam kat kb lagi teruk kot than kl.the rain doesnt make things better.dah la bawak manual.adus.saket kaki ni tekan clutch.actually orang laen ok je kot tapi since saya amat pendek so terpaksa memanjangkan kaki untuk tekan clucth.*grins*

i've been thinking to set a new year resolution.tapi since i knw myself well(read:i'll probably frgt bout the resolution by february)so tak payah la.there are a few things i wanna change tho,tapi biarlah rahsia bak kate siti.tak dapat buat kang malu.aha.

it's weird kan how those people yang belajar oversea rase beliau lagi hebat than us yang stuck kat malaysia bumi tercinta ni.memang la cik hebat dapat scholar and all.tapi xde bezanya dengan kami yang belajar di malaysia.yang membezakan hanyalah tempat.saya juga mendapat scholar,cuma tidak dicampak ke luar negara je.kerana ape?kerana HE knows what's best for me.So sape-sape yang belajar oversea tu janganlah sombong lagi bongkak coz bile-bile mase je Allah boleh tarik nikmat tu.Tak payah lah nak rase diri hebat sangat kayh.Kite serupa di sisiNya.chewahh~

ps:my baby bro called me 'wat kind of hndbag do u hv in mind?'.from india,just to ask dat?adus.dik,kakak di sini sangat terharu..ish 

boredom taps opened part 14..

im officially an useless lazy bum.my daily routine consists of bngun pagi,gosok gigi,makan,tengok tv,mandi(tu pun kalau rajin),melepak di depan laptop,blog hopping,makan lagi then tido.everyday is just the same.only a slight change every now and then.sangat lame hidop saye.but im lovin' it(cam dlm iklan mcd).it feels like i hv no responsibilty,no one to take care of bla3.Like im free,nothing to worry.how i wish i could stay in this forever.tapi nnti ssh la bile new sem start coz i have to work super duper hard for this sem.no more sleeping at 4 and waking up at 10.

now it's raining.it has been raining for two days i guess.or maybe more.tho i love the rain.it makes me feel so lonely.tsk.yes i love this i-dont-hv-to-care-bout-others feeling tapi i need sumone,sum2,sum3 to care bout me.owh how i miss those swit feelings bile mule-mule in love.time-time nak ngorat.senyum je all the time.nak tido pon boley postpone juz to wait for his msgs.aww~i miss that.tapi tu sume the gud side of it je kan.a mirage to the ugly evil side.i mean we only see what we wanna see.so rite now,here i am being alone with the rain pouring i'd do anyting to be in a relationship with my tinggi-pandai-chinese look-kaye dream guy.but where is he??i dunno.maybe he is waiting for me.longing for me as much as i long for him.sigh.

my fren once said,'cinta takkan datang if tak dicari'.adus sangat puitis ayat itu.but i dont want that ordinary cinta.i want this super duper outta of dis world cinta.like antony and cleopatra,like romeo and juliet(not the im-dying-see-u-in-after-life-part of course).i dowan mine to be like anybody's else love story.i want it to be an epic,kisah cinta agung.boley kan?ehe.but now the hardest part is i need to find the hero of my cinta agung.bak kate adam dalam sepi,'mengape bertemu hanya untuk berpisah?'.mane mau cari dehyh~sangap kah daku?desperate kah daku?am i?blergh~ like i care.i need to find dat guy who can give me the strengh so i can stand tall.the nourishment of my barren heart bla3.

Direct the course of love
For love
If it finds you worthy
Directs your course-khalil gibran

i dont want u to call me beautiful...

cause i want to be more thn beatiful to u..

i dont need u to tell me dat u love me every single day..

coz i know dat u love me all along and always be..

i dont want u to be just another guy...

because it's not nuff..

i want u the be THE ONE..

i want u to make me feel like love is just a mere word..

and wat we have if way greater than it..

i want to be the symphony of our life..

the sweetest sound u'll ever hear..

i want  to be cared by u..

to be carressed by u..

suffocating me with all the love...

adrift in world of our own..

where no one understands us..

only u and me..

together forever..

ps:blame mawi and ekin for this..

ps:where are thou mr love?

i hate u~bedebush..

mr blogger,

can u juz please leave me alone?

y cant i edit my post?

waaa~

tengok post kat bwh..

da xley edit dah..

please dont rip away my dream...

wedding dreamer...

help~

im stuck..

sucking me faster than ever...

uhh..stuck kat mane ye?in my own freaking wedding dream..waaa~tak suke tak suke(suke sebenarnye..hahahaha).tapi it's too early la.it's not that simple dream taw.siap dah browse sume websites andaman-andaman nie.honeymoon packages pun da cari okeh.The only thing missing is my drop-dead-gorgeous groom.Owh di mane kamu??sigh~

my-wedding-list(to be accomplished by 2016)

a)a white akad.simple yet elegant with my close families in the guest list.held under the stars if possible.with me wearing a white or off white kurung.(bet i'll look god damn ayu duduk bersimpuh waitin for my hubby.grr~).and my families also dressed in white.

b)a matching wedding rings.lol.im still tinking what to engrave on it.

c)kid chan for my wedding photographer.owh mr.kid please make sure that the installment plan is still available when im ready okeh.He's the picasso in wedding photography.I adore u mr kid.

for more info on kid chan click here

this is a pic from kidchan's blog.

d)i dowan to sanding.tu sume ikot hindu bak kate my fren.ahaha.and with all the people watching me,herm forget it.tapi i'll get a simple pelamin untuk amek gambar je.

e)i just want a simple get together with my close ones.besties,families.argh cant wait.

f)baju for the reception:MUST be in lavender.(but i'll consider another option if my hubby is tanned aka gelap.wahahaha)

g)the reception mesti dekat rumah.tak nak hotel.leceh.tak boley borak lame.tak lame beramah tamah.tak leh show off my hubby.

h)and i want to have a pre-wedding photoshoot jugak.bali wud be nice.

i)i want my hubby to sing to me.wat song?ikot beliau lah.suprise gitu.jangan lagu wonderpets sudey.preferably iris by goo goo dolls or unbeliveable by craig david.*hint hint*

j)honeymoon spot:scotland.

k)i'll bring my family for a vacay after the wedding.most probably to andaman.cintailah malaysia.

ps:off to find my dream guy pulak..

RANDOMness..

Things that i've found out today:

1)Today is the most productive day since my hols started.I've managed to do a few things on my-to-do-list.so 3 checked boxes for bie:
i)buat bank draft.
ii)amek gambar pasport.
iii)transfer all the pics.

2)Found out that im senget.Literally.My head tend to tersenget ke kiri.Looking thru all my pics and there's me with my senget head.Tadi when i went to the studio abang to bantai gelak je.

'Dik senget la,pandang sini sikit'
'Eh?senget?rase cam abg suro tu yang senget'

3)I can make a mean brownies.waaaa~sangat sedap.Pagi td bngun pagi,gosok gigi,masuk dapor.Start baking.Tak payah mandi pon da hebat.Tu belom i mandi dulu b4 baking.

4)i have an above average iq.uhuh.wait till u see my eq test result which i wisely decided not to take.gugugu..

5)i took a personality test and turns out that im in the INFP group.Introverted,iNtuition,Feeling, Perceiving.Wic is quite true.Quotes on INFP people:

i)"creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings..."- INFP Jung Type Descriptions (similarminds.com)

ii)"INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life."- Portrait of an INFP (The Personality Page)

My other INFP frens:Lady D(whoa~),William Shakespeare(bet he was my best fren in my past life),J.R.R. Tolkein(no,im not planning to write any trilogy or fourlogy or wtevr it is)

IM A PROUD INFP!!!!

6)i dont care much bout my hygiene when im at home.Petang baru mandi pagi.pagi baru mandi malam.and my face is a graveyard of skin cells cause i dont bother to scrub,exfoliate bla3 when im at home.

7)!@#$% said that i always want to win.since my mrsm days lagi.(well darl,do u have to wait for 5years to tell me dat?aiyyooo~)

8)i love it when !@#$% called.i'll go all flushy,blushy and mushy.gRrr~.


9)my deli is the super saiya in cleaning taik lembu.yeah bebeh~

ps:mating process is in progress..

wanting the unwanted...

im back in kb.ayah picked us up tadi.bile na masuk kete ade 1 polis yang konon hebat sangat ni sound ayah 'pok cik parking kete gano ni?bla3(dengan nada yang amaaaat harsh)'.WTF.ur supposed to be the peacemaker.ni tak.dengan orang tua pon xreti nak communicate.memang la ayah parking tertonggek sikit bontot kete tu tapi for god's sake cant u see how he is????ayah tu bukannye sihat sangat.naseb baek malam ni mood baek.kalau tak memang kene ah polis tu.biar lah.kesah ape orang cam tu.kurang ajar.penting kitorang happppppyyy~

we involved in an accident when we were in jb.we were just entering jb dat time.and there was this car which changed lane dengan sialnye.my brother in law horn horn la.then tibe-tibe BAAAMM.i tot we've hit dat car.turns out that we were the one yang kene langgar.tapi kete depan tu kene langgar gak la coz kuat gak kene.so we were the bacon of the sandwich.the ream of the oreo.bla3.but the best part is,cine yang langgar kitorang tu singaporean.so he gave 2000 so that kitorang xpayah report.my abang ipar said if kite report polis die memang susah la.die bagi cash okeh.terkejot gak tengok die kuarkan seketul duit tuh.

im still in doubt bout perth.owh,my sis asked me whether i want to go to perth for a vacay.sonds great.tapi tengok la dulu.i really want to go.tapi nanti nak pergi bandung lagi.thats a whole lot of RM.tak mampu kot.tapi aleya said perth sangat lawwwwwaaaa.damn you!laen kali cakap la huduh biar i tak nak pergi.ehe.so lets do some mental arithmetic,sempoa,congkak here.if i go to perth i think i cant buy the crocs that i wanted.dan jugak camera tu.and that jeans.plus,im not sure of my ka-ching $$$ status for next sem coz i still dont get my results.but i reallllllllyyyy need to get away for a while.so i think it's better for me to wait till i get my results before deciding.tapi i dont think by that time ders goin to be any available seat on the same flight as my sis.well,hopefully there's some late cancellation or watever it is.but i dunt think that perth is lawa.i've googled it tapi cam dull je.we'll see i guess..









ps:now i know y i love airport.it's coz of..him..
pps:the title hasnt got anyting to o wit the post.or the post hasnt got noting to do wit the title?wtv.

miniature disaster...

omg!!
i've just realised that something is wrong with my hoping,dreaming,believing part...
hahahahaha...
the song is only for 11 seconds and it keep repeating..
ya allah..
nak muntah dengar lagu tu...
i posted it semalam..
so lets check...
herm...
dalam 10 org gak view and dapat dengar music annoying tu..
it's nice actually...
tapi bile dah 15 kali ulang muak gak..
tanx tu cik napi who told me bout that..ps:he likes pink..awww~
so it's official...
it's my most embarassing moments so far...
the best is yet to come...
nantikan kemunculannya...
yeah~~
btw rite now im at the airport..
goin to kl coz ade kenduri..
and i havent settled the mandarin class tingy coz kete rosak...
soorrrrry ain~
so kene settle nanti balek kl la..
herm..pe lagi eh...
owh the song in this blog is only hope by switchfoot..
napi said that im jiwang..
hehehehe...
seratus markah buat anda!!!!
mmg pon...
tapi i tink this song is more bout having faith in Him..
it depends on how we interpret it la kan..
esok pagi lagi im goin to jb..
nak ziarah cazen mama yang passed away last week..
al-fatihah...
then stay kat jb 1night and straight to pj for the kenduri..
cam penat je...
hahahaha...
as if im the one who is goin to drive...
jangan harap...




ps:i love airport..hehehe..y?boley tengok bontot-bontot abang pilot yang comel..rawr~hahahaha..explicit content di situ..scratch that..no la..kenape saye suke airport?herm..sebab die airport~

boredoom taps opened...AGAIN?!

i gotta admit that bee my honey is way cuter than my box of chocs..

kan?

comeyl sangat..

cam nak landing je dalam blog ni..

ish ish xmuat...

waaaa~

now im hoping my cuti to ends..

dulu punye la counting down the days nak cuti..

hambek kau...

keboriman di dalam cuti..

actually it shouldn't be boring pon..

tp since bie is such a lazy arse so jadi boring la..

sume bende malas nak wat..

so right now im downloading songs,movies ect..

takde life kan?

it's my first time downloading movies so mmg banyak kefrustan menimpa diri ini...

naseb baek ade 2 org technical advisor..

payyah and fathudin..

(u guys wud make a cute couple la..name korg rhymes..ehee..)

i just knew that mpg files is not the same format as mpeg..*clap clap*

tadi layan tv jap..

90210..

im hooked~

maw tgk lagi....

sangat.best.

with all the dramas and spin offs..

like yaza said 'so high school~'

hahahaha..

and i think it's better than the kak ina's 90210..

cause the new 90210 has cooler parties..

more booze and drugs..(not that im encouraging this..kids,don't do drugs..pesanan penaja)

and the casts have better hair dos..

believe me...

i've seen the old 90210...

wahahahaha...

if i were the cast,i wouldnt want to see the 'oh-im-so-cool-in-1990-looks' of me..

but tori spelling ur hot now so no offense ya gurl..

i tried to download the series..

tapi tak dapat..

haiyaaa not so much on my downloading skills eh?

tapi 1 thing i hate bout 90210 is...

IT MAKES ME WANT TO START DATING AGAIN...sigh..

no bie no....

hold on okeh babe..

love yourself dulu..

btw,it's 2.13 am and im not asleep yet..

tomorrow is a long day...

have to settle a few things pasal mandarin class tu..

apik later i can challenge u kecek cine la..

u'll see who's the taiko maa~(read:bie is going to beat u)

ps:im going to kl tomorrow..tapi x packing lagi..double lazy arsse..

pps:cik takab is down cause of his result.s'ok babe.i'll always be by ur side..ehehe..(hopefully he wont read this)

ppps:im addicted to facebook..can someone finds a cure?

gEt a liFE..sEriouSly..

hEy babe..

i know all bout u..

ps:im not stalking u okeh..

let's just say that u and me crossed path a lot..

a lot..

get a life will ya...?

pity u darl..

do u think dat being hot and cool online wud make things easier?

nO way~

people will be like 'uh,dats her?really?she's not what i expected.at all'

do u want dat thrown at ur face.?

please la..

u may have the skills and all but for what?

guess u want to live in the so called virtual life of urs eh..

get out and show ur stuff la..

ur real stuff..

ur a fake!plastic! 

creative+intuitive=new look

tadaaaaa....

major overhaulin'..

the new look of itsybitsybie..

and it's not called my box of choclates anymore..

why?

because there's no box of chocs at the header..

ehehe...

actually i cant manage the chocs with the new layout.

lol..

nice one rite?

simple and cute..

credit to pise for helping me choose this..

and to juwe who worked outside of his brain's capability for the new title..

kudos..

ps:i cant sleep...lullaby anyone...

::life::death::

I always say 'boringnye..' or 'bosannye idop'.A few times a week actually.Once,mama heard me.Guess what she said?'Agak-agak mati bosan tak?Ape la bie tak syukur dapat hidup.'Im speechless.And it got me thinking.Real hard.What if i die now?What if this so called subscription ends here?Right on this very moment.Subhanallah.

I know that im not going to do well there.Im nothing to him.I dont memorised the Quran.Apart from Yassin.I dont know whether my recitations are 'tajwidly' right.I am not sure all my amal ibadah are accepted or not.So basically i dont have anything.ANYTHING.How am i going to face HIM?The almighty.

We always pray to live a long life.For what?How many of us wants to live a long life for HIM.?1 out of 100 maybe?Or less.Perhaps we've been living in this world without considering how we are going to survive in the next.Perhaps we are so selfish to admit that we are wrong.Perhaps...

What are we trying to achieve in this life?Something better?What's better?A mansion?a Maybach?And what happens when we got all the so called better things?Dash to get something better?Is there anything above better?If there is,why do we called it better coz it's not.It should be the ultimate satisfaction.Tastes better than orgasme and ecstacy combined together.But we want more.The more we have the more we want.Why?Cause we are not satisfied with all his blessings.Because we are filled with jeaulosy and hatred.

So how to live a beautiful life without taking granted the life awaits.?Because am trying to though i dont know exactly how.

owh not so heaven anymore...

remember how i proud i am of kelantan?well can i get the rating down a bit?haha.Just remembered how annoying it'll get driving here.Seyesly.Jalan sempit.And pok cik motor sangat la kebal.Seboleh-boleh setengah-tengah jalan tu die nak amek.Ingat ni ape cik?Dahulukan la kereta,lori,trak,traktor gemuk-gemuk ni lalu.Ingatlah orang tersayang.Yang case pok cik ni acceptable lagi.Yang paling tak ley blah pasal pok mude ni ha.Ore kelate ni self esteem die tinggi.So memang biase la if jalan-jalan kene fewiit tu(koya).Tapi janganlah nak ngorat tengah-tengah jalan.Tengah bawak motor ni boley nak usha orang.Tumpukan perhatian ke atas jalan.So cik motor sekalian,next time ade orang hon belakang tu dat'll be me.Seyesly...

MAKE WAY FOR BIE....

ps:bukan get way la apik..

kelate=HEAVEN..

Im hooooommmeee!!!!




Owh daku sangat gumbira.Boleh makan banyak-banyak.Bangun lewat-lewat.Mandi lewat-lewat.Drive jauh-jauh.Bilik sepah-sepah.Makan banyak-banyak.Makan banyak-banyak.Ehe.Kelantan sangat best.Tho tak banyak hangout spots,takde cinema.Tapi we managed to find entertainment without all these.Where on earth could u find a chinese man who can't live a day witout budu?Hanya di kelate okeh.Tempat laen tak dop gini(slang kelate)

Tadi i went to tesco ngn mama.Hajat di hati nak beli broadband je.Tapi last-last tershopping lak.We bought 2 flats and 3 bags.I enjoyed it very much coz bukan selalu boleh shopping ngn mama.Mama really knows what she needs and she's goin to stick to it.She has a clear border between her needs and wants.Me on the other hand nak letak sume dalam group needs.Hahahaha.If i don't really need that thing,im still goin to find a reason why i must get it.*slapbutt*.Speaking of shopping,can somebody get me this???Please...I've been uber nice this year...

it's santa cruz by crocs..retail price:rm206

Hopefully the price'll go dwn by march..

ps:test driving my broadband...

swimming in my self-loahted misery?not anymore...

'An obviously failed attempt in sincerely asking for ur forgiveness'-Luqman zaharin

'Saket ko die?'-Rohayu che kob

'Hahahaha'-Solehah rahmat

Guess what.He texted me.He freaking texted me.For all these while.Why now?It has been 10 agonizing,heart wrenching months.And he just acting like we just broke up yesterday.For what man?U don't have to. It was so nice of u but no.I don't need ur apology.Apology accepted all along.Ur just making things harder for me with that apology.I should have received that apology long ago man.10 months?That's how long it takes for him to realised all his fault?I'm not saying that he entirely should be blamed for what happened between us.I've my share too.But i still remember every single words he said to me.Every single words.It hurts.Still.

There wasn't a day passed by without me thinking of him.I cried to sleep.I cried in my sleep.Seeing people holding hands made me sick.Living through everyday is freaking gruelling for me.And he knew it.U fucking knew it!Why now?Guess he enjoyed watching me suffered eh?But not anymore.Like luqman said 'it doesn't matters how hard u fall,what matters is how u stood strong after that'.And i did.10 months passed by and I'm going strong day by day without him.Yes there are days filled with the thoughts of him.But it'll just come and go.I've shared great times with him and it's impossible for me to pack all the memories and lived my life like i never knew him.I can't.Someday all the long forgetten memories will flood into my life and making things harder.So i'll just remember him as a chapter in my life.A chapter that taught me to love myself first before loving others.A chapter that taught me to be better.And i can't just simply tear and toss that chapter away cause i don't want my book of life has a blank page.

Best wishes for u megat..

This was written on 8th December 2008.

yes...im free...yes i am...

Finally im hitting home...yeah...feels sooooooo goood....dah lame tak balik..kelate i mish you....waaaahhh~now im in coffee bean..menghirup black forest yang tak best..Damn!Salah order.Percaturanku tak kene.Ehe.Should have wore my specs.

Lots had happened for the past two weeks.My final?Should i say that cik mara will definitely not be happy with my results.Susah sangat.Emotionally and mentally draining.Hahahaha.Hiperbola berlaku di situ.And for the past two weeks i've been eating like pig.Maen sumbat je.And my excuse is 'takpe makan banyak.Nak exam makan kene cukup'.Argh...Life is so blissfully good...And for sure bile balek nanti makan tido makan tido je.Ops,i still owe luqman a couple of morning jogs.Uhh beliau sudah kurus..Bie bile lagi???Hehe..Tah la..I guess im comfortable as the way i am now..Alhamdulillah.Mase raye haji tu memang makan sepenuh hati.Sampai pening makan.Imagine that.

Gtg,see you in klate..Kelate,here i come....!!!yabedabedu...

ASShole

i was woken up this morning by yaza.Jerit-jerit.Muke nak nanges.Why?What happened..

'Ade orang kene rogol kat seroja 2.5.30 pagi tadi.'

Ya allah.It could easily be me.I stayed up all night yesterday.Dalam 4 kali gak la gi toilet sorang-sorang.Dengan bilik bawah sekali,hujung sekali,tepi tu padang.Memang im an easy target.Bukan setakat easy.Memang he'll hit the bullseye la.

Nak rogol pon beragak la.Jangan la sampai jolok bende laen-m not sure if this true or not.Tapi this is wat i've heard.Hopefully not.Seyesly im not ok now.Just thinking that it might be me memang horrifying.Plus last nite kitorang xkunci pintu.Omg.Ya allah,memang naseb baek gile.Dah la tepi my bed kosong.Memang cam offer je kat die.

Tadi kitorang borak dengan mak cik cleaner.And she confirmed it.Yang xley blah that guy nyamar jadi pempuan.All of his so called camouflage tu ade lagi kat level 3.That gurl nak mandi je.Dah la subuh-subuh.Tak paham la orang camni.Sanggup tu susah payah menyamar.I hope u'll rot in hell with ur balls in ur mouth.Tak pun let someone else rape him.But how?Lol.So i tink its better we tortured him dengan keep replaying wat has he done today.Lagi seksa.

And i cant understand orang yang ade kat c2 dat time.Kenape tak tolong.I know maybe takot and all.Call la someone.Takpun korang pergi la ramai-ramai.Tapi tak ley salahkan diorang gak kan.Who knows ape kite rase if betol-betol jadi depan kite.Tapi xley trime kot nape diorang tak pegi tolong.




Argh~~

i.hate.me.

his not mine and im not his.tapi cukup cam couple kot.sume bende nak report.'u da bngun?'.'u da makan?'.bla3.kadang rimas gak.tapi kadang kadang rase amat comeyl gitu.lol.forgive my gersangness.hehe.9 months being single is an achievement for me kayh.SANGAT.HEBAT.But i hate this me and him thing.Taknak la both too attached to each other.What if someone jumpe orang laen.I don't wanna be hurt and i don't want to hurt him.Mintak jauh la.Btw apik keep insisting me to get rid of this guy.Yela2.Later i'll think bout it.Not now kayh..







ps:i.still.hate.smokers.nothing.can.make.me.change.my.mind.

mengidam.nasik.kandar.

11 am
'ain,jom kite g pelita'
'jom2 aku pon lame dh nk minum air nyo'
'nanti aku ajak yaza'
'kol bape nak g?'
'after asar la'
'k2'

4.45pm
'ain hujan ni..gano??'
'xpe2,kite tngu sejam lagi.Mesti stop'
'Tapi macam xsey stop jah tu'
'Memang pon'


6.15 pm
'bie,ujan stop dah la..jom la'
'yaza bangun weh.jom gi pelita'
'argh,besnye tido'
'bangun la wey,ciap2'
'k2'

6.20 pm-tunggu bus depan seroja.Owsh ramainye orang.Tunggu.Tunggu.Tunggu.Mane bus ni?

6.45 pm-Cik bus tidak lagi muncul.'mEh la kite jalan kaki gi sect2'.'ok'

6.50 pm-Sampai sect 2.kejar bus 602.Xsempat.Tunggu bus laen.Tunggu.Tunggu.Eh ade bus kat depan.
'Cik tu bus ape?'
'Bus rapid'
Argh~tension.

7.00 pm-Nak amek cab.Tapi sume tanak anta.Strategi menghantar yaza untuk tanye cab tak laku.Sume orang xnak.Siot.Azan maghrib.

7.05 pm-Muke hampa.Makan kat ani sup je.

7.45 pm-Balek jalan kaki.'Eh,cepatnye korang balek'.'S.I.O.T'






Kelaparanku seharian tak worth it.

exam.final.acca.argh~

Slept at 5 semalam.Penat sangat now.Makin banyak belajar makin banyak tataw.Cuak sangat-sangat.Mintak-mintak all this hardwork paid off.Tapi xde la hardwork sangat coz 1 week before exam baru nak start busting my arse off.Haiyoo bie.Dah la last weekend boley lagi ronggeng same pise,soba and diyana.Tapi xpe la.Kire my last day out la tu.Plus da lame xjumpe budak-budak gedik itu.Heartz them.Now bie is all about study medy.No more maen-maen eh babe.

kami bercengkarama~

i love dis pic...

Herm,my fren's dad meninggal on saturday.Sedih sangat.Muda lagi ayah die.Kene denggi and paru-paru berair.Dah ajal tak ley lari kan.Mude ke tue sume same je.Hopefully she'll be ok.Dengan final dah nak dekat nie.Al-fatihah for him.






ps:he said that he's a new man aftr knowing me...awww~

goodbye my lover...

Waaaaa~He left me.He freaking left me for an indon.Ape yang die ade ash?Name pon bunga cinta lestari.My name is way better okeh.Senang je nak sebut time akad.Name die bebelit kot lidah nak sebut.I hate her.Not because u've married her.Tapi because she is BUNGA.Nyanyi pon tah pape.I wonder why indonesians are soooooo deaf. TAK.BEST. Nyanyi pon cam cakap je.High note sure tak sampai la.Why do u called yourself a singer eh?Elysha pon boley nyanyi better than you taw.Just because ur an artist u can get him easily la.If u aren't ash sure xpandang pon la.

aS for u ash,i've been loyal for this past 5 years.U kissed her in bali pon i still support u taw.Yet u still wanna marry her??????Well babe,it's your loss.Hilang sudah 1 jejaka idaman malaya.Sedeyh kot tadi tengok melodi.U guys slow danced and ciap nyanyi same lagi.It should have been u and me.Not u and that woman.ME AND U.

I HATE YOU BUNGA....

*mourning.away*

i'll stay...

Sounds straight from the twilight
Has me up all night
I can’tFall asleep coz
I keep thinking of you
And I saw a shadow, outside my window
And it’s you!

All my sorrows flew away,
Hush keep quiet hear me say
I don’t ever want you to go
Please stay
With the moonlight dancing free
And there’s no one but you and me
There’s no reason to go astray
Please stay

Making up a story
It’s the way you’re looking at me
If you think that this is funny
It’s just you
Try and think about it
If your heart is closed don’t lock it
Keep your keys back in your pocket, think this through

All my sorrows flew away,
Hush keep quiet hear me say
I don’t ever want you to go
Please stayWith the moonlight dancing free
And there’s no one but you and me
There’s no reason to go astray
Please stay

bie=GRUMPY

Bie amat baek.seyesly.
but if u make bie marah she will be REAL mad.
No one wants to see bie marah rite?With her mucum and muke masam tuh.
Bie pon dowan to see herself gitu.
Tapi too bad babe.U wake up the dragon in me.
Sape suruh kurang ajar sangat.
I should have slapped ur face and simbah air.Simbah asid pon better.
Sukeati je nak kutuk orang.Im a lady for god's sake.
And ur putting the blame on me coz of that?
Tak kan la to be a good woman we have to wear jubah and purdah all the time.24/7?
U try it then.
Semayang jumaat pon banyak alasan.
It's not dat i dedah sane dedah sini.
Properly covered up okeh.
Why don't u save that to someone yang memang sexy?

tengah.depan.kiri.kanan

Im stuck!di tengah-tengah kekalutan ini.Argh~.Tak nak tolong,kesian.Kene tolong gak.Tak tolong kene marah.Diluah mati kawan,ditelan mati emak kawan.Aiyoo.Nehi babuji.Complicated seyh.Pening,serabut sume ade.Nuff of dis.
Esok we are going to putrajaya.For some leadership programme.Owh,daku berleadership kah?Lol.Tapi im sure it's gonna be sooooo boring with all the talks bla3.Beta mau study la bro.Bazir mase je.Dah la nak dekat final dah.Siot anda.
Btw,i've passed all my papers.Yahu yabedabedu!!!!Except for that fucking t10 yang only 3 people passed.So it's not coz im not rady or wat.Tapi salah q tu coz susah sangat.

to hell la with the looks..

Honestly,i do judge people based on their looks.I know.Kejam amat.Who am i to judge?Miss world?Miss Universe?And i don't even think that those girls are like me.A few months back,i've hurt a guy because i think he's not up to my so-called-standard-of-a-dream-guy.Damn man.He's nice.Uber nice.Amat sweet coz dat was his first time getting to know a girl.And i was so cruel.Suke ati je nk moody,nk emo and threw it all on him.I pitied him.Seyesly.But i dunno wat was i thinking till dis day.Hopefully he's still straight and there will be an angel for him.Not me.ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH BIE??No,u don't.So please,stop judging coz people are all the same in the eyes of HIM.
Few days ago,i know dis guy.A friend of a friend.He's a great guy.Im trying not to judge him whatsoever.I have to say that we are having some sort of special bond.Is it because we both are vulnerable?I don't know.But i missed this feelings.Frigging missing it.Have u ever feel so berbunge-bunge inside..u feel like flying..even a simple sms from him can make u smile?Well,dat's me now.I wake up everyday and he's on my mind.And how i hope he feels the same way too.Tapi...I dunno why...Apik told me to give him a pass coz i can score a better guy.I cried because of dat.I HATE apik for saying dat.Tapi i know dat he wants the best for me.Tapi he's the guy who told me not to judge others.Tah la.A bit in a dilemma now.Is he dat bad?Even if he is,i think dat i don't care.I like him as the way he is.Am i rushing this??I think i am.Tapi he makes me feel so...ME.I dont even know how to describe it.I'm not talking bout all this lovey dovey,holding hands,i love u u love me stuff.It's about the tale of the heart.I want someone to care bout me.And i think he does.I hope that he does.And know i hate this judging thingy.Who are we?Truth be told there is no fixed criteria of someone who is good-looking,someone hot,someone ugly.It's all in us.In me.The 'bullshitlity' is in us.And how i wish i could get rid of it.So i can treat someone way better.I know this is going nowhere.

evil me..sangatkah???

5th nov is deli's birthday..and i didnt even call or msg to wish him.KEJAMKAH DAKU?well,im in my ngaju mode cz he didnt reply my msgs..Memang la kat bilik die tu line cam bengom skit..Tho konon utp tu hebat sangat la..Tapi tade line..Apekah???Tapi boley je kuar jap msg kan..N my msg pon bukan yang kene reply asap pon..At least die kne rply la..Ni senyap je..Idop ke mati tataw..Die agk psycho..Childish may i say..Tapi he's my bestie..So yes...memang kejam..Tapi wat to do..hE has to know that im hurt...




btw,nov the 5th pom birthday luqman..Aiyoo..Pndai je pilih bestie same birthday..Sve budget gitu..Boley wat party same..Kire package g2..How i wish these two guys could meet..Tapi now baby luqz is in india.Cian i sorang-sorang here babe.Tapi i know that even the seven seas seperated us,u'll still care bout me kan.Love u muchos.Happy birthday bro.

I'll love u guys till all the cows in the world bark.Sayang sangat kamu...

deli,bie,pise..2nd raye 2008

he's doing fine there i guess...

writing to myself...

gosh..final is in 1 month..less than a month actually..and bie is still koya-ing,daydreaming,sleeping,shopping..mmg maen-maen la actually..wakey wakey..bile nk sedar nie..*slap butt*..no one can help u bie..study la..u know kn u only have one shot..stop okayh..u know u can..stop all those thots too..make mama and ayah proud..u are their favourite daughter kan(or aren't you??).and cik mara will be happy too..u'll get more money when ur in acca.finish ur study cepat-cepat then u won't be lonely lagi every night.That time u xde time even for urself pon.Padan muke kamu.Lol.Then u can have all the things yang u nak.Those things yang ppl laughed when u mentioned bout it.The most ridiculous thing is bathroom w/o bumbung tu.Konon nak mandi under the stars.Lol.Realised it.Biar senyap sume.Mesti jeles diorg nnt.Prove it that u can..Tapi first thing kene study dulu okeh...

M.A.B.U.K

Ended my dreadful week with fabulousity.Went to times square with ain on Saturday with a mission to enjoy gile-gile after that horrendous trial.Konon cam post exam stress buster la.

Ain is SOMETHING.Nampak je kecik tapi berani amat~.Like K.A said ‘ala ain tu kan blur-blur sikit,dats why die xtakot’.Sume ride dekat cosmo’s world tu die naek.Ciap ley naek banyak-banyak kali.Memang worth it la die bayar 37bucks for that.Me on the other hand naek a few rides only.Pening la.I’ve always have something with the things yang putar-putar and pusing-pusing.Dulu time skola selalu kne jumpe doctor.Doc ckp ade vertigo or whatever it is.

Tapi yang lawaknye time naek bumper car.Nape la si ain ni xgerak.She tot the car gerak sendiri.Duh.’Minyak.Tekan minyak ain!!!Minyak kat hujung tu’Baru la gerak.Pity her.Ptot biar je die kat situ kan.Lol.Ingat kete tu auto ke ape...

The roller coaster ride is totally terrifying.My harness belt came off during the 360 loop.Naseb baek yang bawah je cabut.Kalau taka de je yang jadi arwah.Nauzubillah.I was like ‘Ain,belt aku cbut!!!Gno ni ain??Ya alla,ya allah’.That time baru nak ingat mama coz I didn’t ask for her permission dulu.Naseb baek panjang umur lagi kan.

Then ain rode the dna mixture.It was very wise of me not to ride that thing.Syabas bie.I tot it only shakes and spins.Macam ade la dat mixture thing yang slalu ade kat lab tu.Tapi bile da start tu memang ternanga la.The inventor of this freaky dna mixture sure gile.Pagel.Out of mind.Insane.Rambut sure lagi hebat than Einstein.Bukan setakat turn,ciap boley tumble lagi.MemAng mixed la dna diorg.M sure on that.Macam mr. bean’s bear dalam washing machine tu.No wonder akiey bley muntah time naek bnde ni dat day.Tapi Im really proud coz ain was the only gurl in it.You go gurl!

The next ride is izzy dizzy kot.It spins and turns.Ain boley cakap cam naek buai.Da nak tercabot anak mate rasenye.Jerit tu xpayah cakap la.Mate mmg pejam rapat.After the ride I puked.Haha.Hilang machoku.Awww~Naseb baek da smpai toilet.Then ain naek a few ride lagi.Yg pusing-pusing,yang putar-putar.I memang xlarat gile dah.Terjelepek somewhere depan entrance.Ciap boley babysit anak cine lagi.Lol.Dat boy is sooooo adorable.’If I ride dat coaster,I’ll vomit and people down here will be like ‘ape tu?’’.Omg.He has the mind of 19 years old or I have the mind of a sixers?Same lak our thought.

Then makan besar at johnny’s.Love it there.Favourite.Then off to tgv.SHOWTIME!Kitorg tengok the coffin.As always,mesti tutop muke.Tengok thru celah jari je.Ok la cite tu.Tapi ending die xpaham.Then masuk balek cosmo’s.Biar je la budak kecik tu maen-maen.Then there was this Haunted Chamber.Nampak cam bes.Da nak masuk dah.Tapi suddenly ade 1 group lari-lari kuar.Ciap ade yang merangkak lagi.So teros xjadi msok.If ramai-ramai boley la msok.Ni me and ain je.Sure terok kene.Tak sanggup mak.

Then sopim sopim a bit.Tibe-tibe rase nak membolim.Yes!!i won!!(bangge).Segale penat lelahku berlatih di kb mall paid off.Tapi xsampai 100 pon pin jatuh.Style je lebey.Haha.

Balek makan char kuey tiaw at hijazi.TIDO!!!!

Fuad said that i think too much...herm...

november..please go away..please...

31st oct already.Argh.The end is near.The end of all misery and darkness.But,how i wish it's truly the end.Because it is NOT.It's the start of something more uncertain.Why am i still waiting???How i wish im not this stupid girl who can't moved on after all these years.How i wish im not this girl who'll always be there for him.How i wish..Everything is not like how it is..

HOW I WISH....

FREAKY friday..

friday,24th oct.

Sucked real gud in t7.Looking forward to suck in next papers.Lai2 kite pegi opis mara mintak claim duit.Seperti seorg gadis-gadis independent laen i went there alone.(more like bengong kan,bukan independent).Everything went ok je.Tp ade a bit of prob with my claim.Have to ask abe naza to write an approval letter la plak.Kupik gilo.If i didnt pay cane la ley msuk exam.DUH.
Nvm dat.

Then went to eat dekat secret recipe.Fish n chips n ice lemon tea.Service lambat yang amat.Tapi still ley chill coz it's friday and lunchtime lak.What's more irritating is order orang sebelah smpai dulu.Damn,daku kelaparan okeh.Then my fish n chips smpai.Di mane ice lemon tea ku??Agak pelik di c2 coz the drinks always comes first kan.Everyone knows dat.Tapi atlast dapat la gak.Tapi i noticed this waiter keep checking on me.I friggin hate dat.Xley makan bukak mulut luas-luas.Lol.Then he came 'kak,nnt nak byar pnggil saye eh'.'ok'.Gobble gobble jilat jari sedap sedap.
'Bill please'
'Kak,byar rm10 je la eh'
'eh?y?mst ade sebab'
'xpe,byar je rm10'
gile ke ape die nie,nak ngorat cakap je la xpayah bayar kan.(bace dgn nada btol)
"kak byar ni kire duit poket saye la'
now i kno,no wonder la lambat gile.i was a pemakan hantu.omfg.tapi save duit.I like...hahahaah..next time i have to find dat guy lagi.Ley makan murah rite*wink*.If only i knw,i ordered gile2 banyak.ehe.

Then off to ktm.Kak ina will pick me kat midvalley.So kne menerain to mid.There was dis young lady beside of me mase tnggu train.Wat dek je.Then cho cho!!'Train is here!!!'Got in.Ade mat salleh la plak tepi nie.Awww~fyi,i have a soft spot for all the caucasians.Bukan setakat caucasian,orang-orang cerah can make me caiiiiiirrr..Hahaha.Suddenly,jeng jeng jeng.....
'Saudari nak pegi mane?' (it's dat matsalleh!!!)
'Owh m goin to mid.My sis gonna pick me up there(dgn muka gile amazed)'
'Da keje?'
'Nope,still studying'(Mengapekah daku bangang menjawab dlm english???tawu la best student)
'Saudari da kwen?'
'Blom'(omg do i look like a smag married.virgin lagi okeh)
"Ade bf?'
'Nope,single'(tibe-tibe rase cam pelik.wth with dis guy.fishy..)
'u suke enjoy x?'
(dibalas dengan jelingan tajam.nyesal gile layan die nie)
'meh la ikot saye,saye turun kat sentral.Kite enjoy'
(felt like crying)
'pkai fon x?nak no'
And he kept REPEATING tanye2 soalan provocative.

I DUNNO wat to do.Tbe2 nampak makcik td.'Owh,dats my mom'.And thankfully mackik tu tgh pandang.Makcik tu dgn baek nye panggil 'meh cni nak(pelok-pelok)'.Bie is crying.Totally.Hahaha.Tade la independent td.And dat guy lari to the other side of the train.Ya allah,syukur sangat.Wat if dat makcik buat bodoh?Sure kne bahan dgn matsaleh tu.Haha.Tapi alhamdulillah theres still someone who cares.And i know SOMEONE is watching over me from up above.Makcik tu ciap ley cite 'Ari ni aku jadi mak angkat ko,baru ni jadi mak angkat cine.Mat salleh gak.Die g cakap cine ngn cine tuh.Cine tuh pon lari kat makcik'.Haihs,pelik kan people nowdays.The race yang claim konon maju than us easterners ni lagi hina sebenarnye.