me+train=endless woes

macam ni baru thrill!

Imagine that you are almost 5 ft short tall.The person behind u is pushing u inwards but the person in front of u is shouting 'weh takde otak ke?jangan tolak lah'. That's when you will feel like you are a salmon in its journey upstream. Menentang arus orang Melayu kata. Kalau go ahead kena makan kat beruang,kalau stop nanti tak boleh mengawan. Nak pilih yang mane? The latter of course. Haha. Mengawan lagi penting but only if I were a salmon lah kan. Atau mungkin bagai pepatah Melayu diluah mati emak,ditelan mati bapak. Mungkin. Kesabaran yang nipis diuji bertubi-tubi. Oh don't forget that you are not even 5ft tall. Stuck in between strangers, memang lemas sambil mulut berdoa untuk dikurniakan ketinggian extra di masa yang paling kritikal ini making you the filling of a human sandwich.




OK dah boleh masuk.




Seat penuh. The whole train is effing packed. Where to go? Cari tiang untuk berpeluk since ketinggian tidak mengizinkan untuk bergayut di besi overhead. Tengok sekeling. Oh rase sangat kosmopolitan dan global bila nampak Indons, Burmese, Nigerians, Filipinos berada dalam train yang sama. Rasa lagi hebat bila melihat rakyat sendiri memerah tenaga berdiri bergayut sekuat hati tetapi foreigners *usually indons* memadu asmara duduk di atas kerusi. Mungkin saya tak global, tapi bila naik train di negara sendiri rasa macam di negara asing saat itulah rasa nak buat salam perantauan. Boleh kira dengan jari berapa orang Malaysians in a coach. Given the substantial amount of illegal immigrants,I'm pretty sure only 1 out of 4 of the so called foreigners is PATI. This is based on my frequent observation because I always play a guessing game when I'm on the train. It's called 'Malaysian ke tak'. The rule is simple,teka je lah orang tu Malaysian ke tak. Nak tahu jawapan senang je. Dengar lah cara die cakap macam mane. Tapi kalau nak tahu jawapan lagi tepat tunggulah bila ade pegawai imigresen. Kalau orang tu kena escort surelah tu he'll get a free ride balik negara asal. Syabas rakyat Malaysia. Memang kita pemurah dan menghormati tetamu.




Standing among strangers in a crowded place is hardwork. You'll have people oops! purposely grabs your !@#, breathing on your neck, stepping on your foot(lagi best bila orang tu pakai heels). So what to do? Kalau defend depan belakang terdedah, defend belakang depan terdedah. In the end,you will be clutching to your bag for your dear life. And you will notice that the person beside you is in bliss sebab dapat rezeki extra hari ini. Oh you know what I'm trying to say. I have my own personal experience on this matter. Kalau handsome rela ok lah jugak ni muka tak siap.





Oh your height makes you more vulnerable. Why? BECAUSE YOUR NOSE IS PARALLEL TO OTHER PEOPLE's SMELLY ARMPITS. And thank you strangers for sharing me the wonders of your tropical forest down there. Very much appreciated. Hurm. You know all these tall people has to bergayut to that besi kat atas so that is why I'm more privileged than others because when they lift their hands,my nose is literally just beside their armpits. I can even estimate when was their last shave. Euw. Sometimes dirty thoughts do ignite. Maybe their partners enjoy playing with bulu ketiak. Boleh pusing-pusing. Alah macam high school girl in love on the phone. Hahahaha. One word,GELI! Hell no. Geli is not enough.





Thank god the next stop is yours.Phew.



So when the government announced that our public transportation sysytem will be upgraded, a smile was plastered to my face. But I can help thinking that the Indons, Burmese and so on will benefit more from these amenities. Jahat kan.But HELLO MR MINISTERS THAT'S THE HARD FACT. Get on board the Komuter and you'll know. Tapi jangan main kotor bawak entourage sekampung dengan wartawan sekali naik coach kosong. Tu main tipu. Memang lah rasa selesa macam tu. Adoi. Or maybe we don't have to worry about which car to give to the ministers. Nak bagi Perdana ke Camry bagai. Bagi je lah naik Komuter, LRT. Barulah terbukti pemimpin berjiwa rakyat. Anyway,terima kasih saya ucapkan.













ps:lepas ni sure kena buluh runcing kalau pergi indon.
pps:buy me a car anyone?ehehe
pps:budak ni nak kena ISA ni.